远距离恋爱25条衷心建议
- 你所给与对方的时间(聊天、语音、视频),让对方感受的爱,不是你的付出或者是牺牲,而是在远距离恋爱里,本应做的事。
- 男/女朋友,就是男/女朋友,而不是男性/女性朋友。(对方能够感到被爱被关怀,很大程度是因为你能够让对方感到他/她自己是特殊的)
- 如果不能及时回复,就事先告知对方,或者结束后解释理由,就这么简单。(自己不解释反而怪罪对方不体贴自己,是很无理的。)
- 分享日常,不会打扰对方,只会让对方能够从你分享的内容里更加了解你,同时能够感到被你惦记着。
- 很多时候,对方向你抱怨的生活上细小的事,是为了得到你的安慰。如果你已读不回,或者直接忽略,对方会认为连日常聊天中向你倾诉都得不到回应,不要谈以后共同生活了。
- 你们的位置,永远高于问题。解决问题才是最重要的事,问题是什么,怎么样解决,好好沟通。
- 要尝试学会感同身受。对方所和你倾诉的,抱怨的,要尝试站在对方的角度来考虑事情。你是你,Ta是Ta,你能够轻松解决或面对的事,不代表他/她也可以。
- 远距离恋爱大部分时间产生的问题,都是来源于自己说的不够多,对方脑补地过多。
- 大部分时间能够感到自己被爱着,是来自于对方的偏爱。
- 远距离恋爱在一起久了,是一定会走向共同生活这一步的。当你们感情已经趋向于稳定,对方向你提出结束距离的想法,要谅解,而不是抱怨对方为什么把自己逼得那么紧。如果你能够让对方感到安心,对方是不会感到你们之间没有未来的。
- 利用异性来让远距离的另一半嫉妒,很愚蠢。
- 一旦是和异性有关,尽可能说清楚,解释清楚。尽管你自己是清白,忠诚的,你不说不解释,对方是不能够安心并且信任你的。
- 不是外国人就代表你要接受开放式感情。对方出轨就是出轨,聊骚就是聊骚,你不能接受感情里有第三人就及时止损,就这么简单。
- 如果对方被你抓到出轨,后悔莫及,不要心软原谅对方。他/她的后悔,只是因为保密功夫没有做足,并不是因为爱你。真正爱你就不会从一开头就解开自己的皮带,脱下裤子了。也不会打开手机,背着你,偷偷摸摸和别人聊天。出轨就是出轨,及时止损,就是这么简单。
- 无论在一起多久,只要对方做出伤害你的事,马上分手,这永远都不算迟。
- 远距离恋爱需要你在自己的生活里安排时间给到对方,有时间看电影,有时间健身,有时间玩游戏,有时间外出,那你就有那么5秒钟的时间看到对方的信息,那么你也会有5秒钟的时间来回复。
- 将自己的空余时间填满,对方太忙,自己太闲,只会是给自己时间胡思乱想。
- 保持积极的心态很重要,而且要双方都保持积极的心态。
- 感情是要两个人一起经营的,只有你一个人是没办法经营起来的。
- 不分享,少联系,只会渐行渐远。
- 当你有疑问,不要花时间在搜索结果上,直接问他/她。
- 降低期待,懂得现实中的恋爱,是需要一步步经营的。
- 没有什么感情是零付出,高回报的。同时,每个人的耐性也是有极点的。
- 时刻提醒自己,对方只是自己生活的一部分,不是全部。
- 在时机成熟(健康的远距离恋爱,有保持良好的沟通以及双方都在朝结婚的方向前进)的时候,做计划见面以及结束距离。
1. The time(chat, voice call, video chat) you make for your long distance partner, is not sacrifice. It is what you are supposed to do when you're in a long distance relationship.
2. Boyfriend/Girlfriend is your lover, not just your boy friend or girl friend.(The only way you can make him/her feel loved is to treat your partner differently)
3. If you can't reply right away, tell your long distance partner in advance or explain after. As simple as that.(If you don't explain and blame your partner for not being considerate, it makes you very unreasonable.)
4. Sharing daily routine with your long distance partner will never bother him/her, it helps your partner to know more about you, also makes your partner to feel loved.
5. Normally when your long distance partner complains little things to you, he/she just wants your comfort. If you leave him/her on read, or just ignore the messages, he/she will feel you can't even give him/her responses on daily chatting, not to mention in the future living together.
6. You two will always more important than the problems. Solving problems is the most important thing, what is the problem, how to solve it and how to discuss.
7. Learn how to feel what your long distance partner feels. What he/she tells you and what he/she complains, try to think from your long distance partner's perspective. Even it's something you can easily solve or face, it doesn't mean your long distance partner can as well.
8. Most of the problems in long distance relationship, come from one side talks too little, other side over thinks too much.
9. Most of the time you feel you're loved, because your long distance partner spoils you with extra love.
10. When you're in long distance relationship for long time, you will move on to the part where you live with each other. When the relationsip is going steady, your long distance partner proposes the idea to end the distance, try to understand it in stead of saying he/she pushes you too much. The only reason your long distance partner is insecure, is probably you make him/her feel there's no future in this relationship.
11. Using opposite sex to make your long distance partner jealous, is stupid.
12. Once it's something about opposite sex, try your best to explain it. Even you didn't do anything, you're being loyal, if you don't explain, you don't talk about it, it's hard to make your long distance partner trust you.
13. It doesn't mean you need to be in an open relationship if your long distance partner is a foreigner. Cheating is cheating, sexting is sexting, if you can't stand there's a third person in this relationship, just end it. As simple as that.
14. If you caught your long distance partner cheating, and he/she tells you how much he/she regrets hurting you, don't forgive. He/she is feeling sorry just because he/she got caught. If he/she truly loves you, the pants would stay on. If he/she loves you, the sexting wouldn't exist. Cheating is cheating.
15. No matter how long you have been together, if he/she hurts you, just leave. It's never too late to do that.
16. Long distance relationship needs you to arrange time for your long distance partner. If you have time to watch movies, for gym, to play games, to go out. Then you have 5 seconds to read messages, then you have 5 seconds to reply.
17. Have personal life. If your long distance partner is busy and you have too much time, you will just over think everything.
18. Being positive is important, both of you stay positive is the more important.
19. Relationship needs two people work together, if there's only you, it will never work.
20. No sharing, not much chatting, they'll just make you drift apart from each other.
21. When you have questions, don't spend time on searching answers, just ask him/her.
22. Lower your expectation, relationship in real life needs both of you to put efforts and do it step by step.
23. There is no relationship doesn't need any efforts. Everyone's patience has limits.
24. Always remind yourself, he/she is part of your life, not all your life.
25. When time(the relationship is healthy, talk everyday, and both of you are heading to the goal getting married)is right, make plans to end the distance.
总感觉长文章没有人阅读,就做成短总结了,是我最衷心的建议,也是前面文章里一直强调的内容。
I feel people don't read long posts anymore, so I made a short summary. These are my most sincere advices, also something I've been talking about in my posts all the time.