TED演讲：学会在工作中与情绪和解
演讲题目：How to embrace emotions at work?
演讲简介：
“当你走进办公室时，你不能只是按下开关就把情绪关掉。感受情感是人类的一部分，”作家兼插画家 LizFosslien说。她分享了为什么选择性的弱点是把真实的自己带到工作中的关键。
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No matter how hard you might try, you can't just flip a switch when you step into the office and turn your emotions off. Feeling feelings is part of being human.
不管你怎么努力，都无法在踏入办公室时轻轻按下开关，就此屏蔽你的情感。感受自身的情绪是生而为人的一部分。
（The Way We Work）A pervasive myth exists that emotions don't belong at work, and this often leads us to mistakenly equate professionalism with being stoic or even cold. But research shows that in the moments when our colleagues drop their glossy professional presentation, we're actually much more likely to believe what they're telling us.
（我们的工作方式）主流的观念认为情感应该被排斥在工作之外，这常常导致我们错误地将专业素养等同于坚忍甚至冷酷。但是研究表明，当我们的同事卸下了光鲜的专业姿态，我们更有可能相信他们说的话。
We feel connected to the people around us. We try harder, we perform better and we're just generally kinder. So it's about time that we learn how to embrace emotion at work. Now, that's not to say you should suddenly become a feelings fire hose.
我们觉得自己和周围的人建立了联系。我们会更努力，表现得更好，也会变得更加宽容。因此，现在是我们学习如何在工作中拥抱情感的时候了。这并不是说你可以立刻开始发泄情绪。
A line exists between sharing, which builds trust, and oversharing, which destroys it. If you suddenly let your feelings run wild at work and give people far more information than they bargained for, you make everyone around you uncomfortable and you also undermine yourself.
界线就在促进信任的分享行为与破坏信任的过度分享之间。如果你突然在工作中尽情地表达情绪，给人们超出他们需求量的信息，你让你周围的每个人都不舒服，你也损害了自己。
You're more likely to be seen as weak or lacking self awareness, so, great to say you weren't feeling well last night -- you don't need to go into every lurid detail about how you got reacquainted with your half-digested dinner. So there's a wide spectrum of emotional expression.
你更有可能被视为软弱或缺乏自我意识，所以，你可以说你昨晚过得不太好，但不必详细描述那顿难以消化的晚餐。因此，表达情绪的程度范围很广。
On one hand, you have under-emoters, or people who have a hard time talking about their feelings, and on the other end are over-emoters, those who constantly share everything that's going on inside, and neither of these make for a healthy workplace. So what's the balance between these two extremes?
一方面，存在“匮乏表达者”，或是那些很难传递自我情绪的人。另一方面，存在“过度表达者”，他们无时无刻不在分享内心的每一个感受。这两种方法都不能营造健康的工作环境。那么二者之间的平衡是什么呢？
It's something called selective vulnerability. Selective vulnerability is opening up while still prioritizing stability and psychological safety, both for you and for your colleagues. Luckily, anyone can learn to be selectively vulnerable, with practice. Here are four ways to get started.
这就是所谓的选择性脆弱。“选择性脆弱”是在敞开心扉的同时依然顾及你与同事们的心理安全感与稳定性。幸运的是，任何人都可以通过练习学会有选择性脆弱。可以用以下四种方式开始练习。
First, flag your feelings without becoming emotionally leaky. Bad moods are contagious, and even if you're not vocalizing what you're feeling, chances are your body language or your expressions are a dead giveaway.
首先，表达你的感受，而不过度宣泄情绪。坏情绪会传染，即使没有说出你的感受，肢体语言和表情也很有可能传达出糟糕的信息。
So if you are crossing your arms or hammering on your keyboard, your coworkers are going to know you're upset. And if you don't say anything, they might start to think it's about them and get worried. So if you are reacting to a non-work-related event, so traffic for example, just flag it.
所以如果你交叉双臂或用力敲击键盘，同事们就会发现你不开心。如果你什么都不说，他们也许会担心是自己导致了你的坏心情。所以当你的情绪与工作无关时，比如是由于路上堵车，就可以直接表明。
You don't need to go into detail. You can say something as simple as 'I'm having a bad morning. It has nothing to do with you.' Now if it's a work-related event that's causing you to feel strong emotions, that brings us to point number two.
你不需要详细说明。只要简单地说“我今早真倒霉，并不是你的问题。”就够了。然而，如果的确是工作上的事导致你产生了强烈的情绪，这就要用到第二种方式。这就要用到第二种方式。
Try to understand the need behind your emotion, and then address that need. If you suddenly start to find everyone around you irritating, sit back and reflect on that. And it might be that you're irritable because you're anxious, and you're anxious because you're worried about hitting a looming deadline.
试着理解你情绪背后的需要，并且满足这种需求。如果你突然发现周围的人都在惹你生气，坐下来好好想想是为什么。也许你很烦躁是因为你很焦虑，而焦虑来自于某项工作的截止日期正在逼近。
And in that case, you can go back to your team to address that need and say something like, 'I want to make sure I get everything done ahead of the deadline. Can you help me put together a realistic plan to do that?' If you're thinking of sharing, try and put yourself in the other person's shoes.
在这种情况下，你可以回到团队中处理这种需求，比如告诉大家：“我希望在期限前完成工作，你们能帮我一起制定一个可行的计划吗？“如果你在考虑分享你的情绪，试试设身处地为他人着想。
So if what you're about to say would help you feel more supported and better understand the situation, then go ahead and share it. But if it gives you any kind of pause, you might want to leave it out. And finally, read the room and provide a path forward.
所以如果你要说的话能让你收到更多的支持和更好的理解，那就去分享吧。但如果你对此感到迟疑，你也许更愿意略去不提。最后，察觉气氛并指出进展的方向。
If everyone on your team has been pulling long hours, and you notice that one of your colleagues seems particularly deflated or anxious, you can acknowledge that and show some empathy, but then try to give them something actionable that they could hold on to.
如果你团队中的每个人都在加班加点，而你发现有一位同事显得特别沮丧或焦虑，你可以承认这一点并且适当地共情。但接着你得指明一些对方能做到的事情。
And in this case, you could suggest that you go to your manager and ask that your weekly meeting be pushed back a day so you both have more time to work. You're showing you're invested in their success, but also that you care about their well-being.
在这种情况下，你可以建议自己去和经理商量把本周的例会推迟一天，这样你们都会有更多的时间处理工作。这样既展现了你对团队成功的信心，也表达了你对同事的关怀。
When we can be honest about what we feel, and freely suggest ideas, make mistakes and just not have to hide every piece of who we are, we're much more likely to stay at the company for a long time. We're also happier and more productive.
当我们真诚地面对自己的感受，自由地提出意见，勇于试错，不必隐藏每一点真实的自己，我们更可能长久地在一家公司工作。我们也更快乐，更有效率。
So take a moment to reflect on the emotional expression that you bring to work each day. And if you are prone to oversharing, try editing. And if you're a little bit more reserved, look for moments when you can open up to your colleagues and be a bit vulnerable.
所以，花点时间思考一下你每天工作中的情感表达。如果你有过度分享的倾向，试着缩减一点。如果你倾向于沉默，寻找你能向同事敞开心扉，变得“脆弱”的时刻。
And chances are, there will be a big difference in how people respond to you. And selective vulnerability might just become one of your most valuable tools.
很有可能，人们对你的反应会有很大的不同。“选择性脆弱”也许会成为你最有价值的工具之一。
中英文字幕
No matter how hard you might try, you can't just flip a switch when you step into the office and turn your emotions off. Feeling feelings is part of being human.
不管你怎么努力，都无法在踏入办公室时轻轻按下开关，就此屏蔽你的情感。感受自身的情绪是生而为人的一部分。
（The Way We Work）A pervasive myth exists that emotions don't belong at work, and this often leads us to mistakenly equate professionalism with being stoic or even cold. But research shows that in the moments when our colleagues drop their glossy professional presentation, we're actually much more likely to believe what they're telling us.
（我们的工作方式）主流的观念认为情感应该被排斥在工作之外，这常常导致我们错误地将专业素养等同于坚忍甚至冷酷。但是研究表明，当我们的同事卸下了光鲜的专业姿态，我们更有可能相信他们说的话。
We feel connected to the people around us. We try harder, we perform better and we're just generally kinder. So it's about time that we learn how to embrace emotion at work. Now, that's not to say you should suddenly become a feelings fire hose.
我们觉得自己和周围的人建立了联系。我们会更努力，表现得更好，也会变得更加宽容。因此，现在是我们学习如何在工作中拥抱情感的时候了。这并不是说你可以立刻开始发泄情绪。
A line exists between sharing, which builds trust, and oversharing, which destroys it. If you suddenly let your feelings run wild at work and give people far more information than they bargained for, you make everyone around you uncomfortable and you also undermine yourself.
界线就在促进信任的分享行为与破坏信任的过度分享之间。如果你突然在工作中尽情地表达情绪，给人们超出他们需求量的信息，你让你周围的每个人都不舒服，你也损害了自己。
You're more likely to be seen as weak or lacking self awareness, so, great to say you weren't feeling well last night -- you don't need to go into every lurid detail about how you got reacquainted with your half-digested dinner. So there's a wide spectrum of emotional expression.
你更有可能被视为软弱或缺乏自我意识，所以，你可以说你昨晚过得不太好，但不必详细描述那顿难以消化的晚餐。因此，表达情绪的程度范围很广。
On one hand, you have under-emoters, or people who have a hard time talking about their feelings, and on the other end are over-emoters, those who constantly share everything that's going on inside, and neither of these make for a healthy workplace. So what's the balance between these two extremes?
一方面，存在“匮乏表达者”，或是那些很难传递自我情绪的人。另一方面，存在“过度表达者”，他们无时无刻不在分享内心的每一个感受。这两种方法都不能营造健康的工作环境。那么二者之间的平衡是什么呢？
It's something called selective vulnerability. Selective vulnerability is opening up while still prioritizing stability and psychological safety, both for you and for your colleagues. Luckily, anyone can learn to be selectively vulnerable, with practice. Here are four ways to get started.
这就是所谓的选择性脆弱。“选择性脆弱”是在敞开心扉的同时依然顾及你与同事们的心理安全感与稳定性。幸运的是，任何人都可以通过练习学会有选择性脆弱。可以用以下四种方式开始练习。
First, flag your feelings without becoming emotionally leaky. Bad moods are contagious, and even if you're not vocalizing what you're feeling, chances are your body language or your expressions are a dead giveaway.
首先，表达你的感受，而不过度宣泄情绪。坏情绪会传染，即使没有说出你的感受，肢体语言和表情也很有可能传达出糟糕的信息。
So if you are crossing your arms or hammering on your keyboard, your coworkers are going to know you're upset. And if you don't say anything, they might start to think it's about them and get worried. So if you are reacting to a non-work-related event, so traffic for example, just flag it.
所以如果你交叉双臂或用力敲击键盘，同事们就会发现你不开心。如果你什么都不说，他们也许会担心是自己导致了你的坏心情。所以当你的情绪与工作无关时，比如是由于路上堵车，就可以直接表明。
You don't need to go into detail. You can say something as simple as 'I'm having a bad morning. It has nothing to do with you.' Now if it's a work-related event that's causing you to feel strong emotions, that brings us to point number two.
你不需要详细说明。只要简单地说“我今早真倒霉，并不是你的问题。”就够了。然而，如果的确是工作上的事导致你产生了强烈的情绪，这就要用到第二种方式。这就要用到第二种方式。
Try to understand the need behind your emotion, and then address that need. If you suddenly start to find everyone around you irritating, sit back and reflect on that. And it might be that you're irritable because you're anxious, and you're anxious because you're worried about hitting a looming deadline.
试着理解你情绪背后的需要，并且满足这种需求。如果你突然发现周围的人都在惹你生气，坐下来好好想想是为什么。也许你很烦躁是因为你很焦虑，而焦虑来自于某项工作的截止日期正在逼近。
And in that case, you can go back to your team to address that need and say something like, 'I want to make sure I get everything done ahead of the deadline. Can you help me put together a realistic plan to do that?' If you're thinking of sharing, try and put yourself in the other person's shoes.
在这种情况下，你可以回到团队中处理这种需求，比如告诉大家：“我希望在期限前完成工作，你们能帮我一起制定一个可行的计划吗？“如果你在考虑分享你的情绪，试试设身处地为他人着想。
So if what you're about to say would help you feel more supported and better understand the situation, then go ahead and share it. But if it gives you any kind of pause, you might want to leave it out. And finally, read the room and provide a path forward.
所以如果你要说的话能让你收到更多的支持和更好的理解，那就去分享吧。但如果你对此感到迟疑，你也许更愿意略去不提。最后，察觉气氛并指出进展的方向。
If everyone on your team has been pulling long hours, and you notice that one of your colleagues seems particularly deflated or anxious, you can acknowledge that and show some empathy, but then try to give them something actionable that they could hold on to.
如果你团队中的每个人都在加班加点，而你发现有一位同事显得特别沮丧或焦虑，你可以承认这一点并且适当地共情。但接着你得指明一些对方能做到的事情。
And in this case, you could suggest that you go to your manager and ask that your weekly meeting be pushed back a day so you both have more time to work. You're showing you're invested in their success, but also that you care about their well-being.
在这种情况下，你可以建议自己去和经理商量把本周的例会推迟一天，这样你们都会有更多的时间处理工作。这样既展现了你对团队成功的信心，也表达了你对同事的关怀。
When we can be honest about what we feel, and freely suggest ideas, make mistakes and just not have to hide every piece of who we are, we're much more likely to stay at the company for a long time. We're also happier and more productive.
当我们真诚地面对自己的感受，自由地提出意见，勇于试错，不必隐藏每一点真实的自己，我们更可能长久地在一家公司工作。我们也更快乐，更有效率。
So take a moment to reflect on the emotional expression that you bring to work each day. And if you are prone to oversharing, try editing. And if you're a little bit more reserved, look for moments when you can open up to your colleagues and be a bit vulnerable.
所以，花点时间思考一下你每天工作中的情感表达。如果你有过度分享的倾向，试着缩减一点。如果你倾向于沉默，寻找你能向同事敞开心扉，变得“脆弱”的时刻。
And chances are, there will be a big difference in how people respond to you. And selective vulnerability might just become one of your most valuable tools.
很有可能，人们对你的反应会有很大的不同。“选择性脆弱”也许会成为你最有价值的工具之一。