#EachforEqualWei Huadong tells the story of his mother
#每个人的平等#EachforEqual韦华东的等号手势Wei Huadong in hands-out equal pose韦华东分享的故事中的中文以及照片均由他本人提供。作为这项活动的发起者陶理（本名：缪鑫，英文名：Hermione，陶理是笔名）在征得他同意的基础上，按照一段中文、一段英文的格式进行了翻译，并对段落布局做了符合手机阅读的排版，最后附上了个人评论。The story in Chinese as well as the photos are all provided by Wei Huadong. And with his consent, the campaign organiser Hermione translated each paragraph and edited the content for reading via phone. It ends with Hermione's comment.冬天里的花束The flower bouquets in the winter1每年过年的时候，我都会给两三个要好的朋友订几束花。每一束花都会依据我对该同事的了解、性格的判断来选择色彩和种类。其中有送给领导的，也有送给不在身边，却常在心里的朋友。送给领导是为了感谢一年来他给我的帮助，能遇到一个志同道合且愿意听你倾诉的领导实属不易。送给不常见的朋友是因为想让他（她）知道生活中依然会有许多惊喜。Everytime near the Chinese New Year, I order a few flower bouquets for two or three good friends. I choose choose the color and type of flowers based on my understanding of this person's personality. Some of the flowers are for my leaders, and some for friends who are not around but I always think of them. Sending flowers to my leader is to thank him for his help over the past year. It is not easy to meet a like-minded leader who is willing to listen to you. Sending flowers to friends I do not usually meet is because I want to let him or her know that life still prepares many surprises for them.但让人遗憾的是，我从来没有买过一束鲜花给老妈。记得从我小时候起，父母一直过着很节俭的生活。对老妈而言，让她最享受的精神生活，就是把收集来的碎布料，拼接成色彩斑斓的坐垫；或在孩子们破了洞的旧衣服上，施展她以旧变新、精致巧妙的刺绣技能。妈妈的审美永远与实用主义联系在一起。若是脱离了实用需求，所有单纯的审美都应该算是一种奢侈和浪费，都应该受到严厉的指责和批判。Unfortunately, I never bought a bouquet of flowers for my mother. I remember that my parents have been living a frugal life since I was a kid. For my mother, the most enjoyable spiritual life, is to stitch the collected scraps of fabric into colorful cushions; or to make the children's old clothes to become new, by applying her delicate and clever embroidery skills on the old clothes. Her aesthetic standards are always associated with pragmatism. If it is separated from practical needs, all pure aesthetics should be considered a luxury and waste, and should be severely blamed and criticised.记得有一次，我说要在家里的大厅里挂一水墨画，费用我来出。结果老妈反驳我一句：“挂什么水墨画？挂给谁看？这里又没有艺术家。别人家住豪宅才挂水墨画。你自己省点，以后买个大点的房子，再娶个老婆。我和你爸这套又老又旧的房子，不用你们操心。”我和老姐站在一旁，一脸的不自在。I remember once I said I wanted to hang a Chinese ink-and-wash drawing in the lobby of my house, and I would pay for the expense. As a result, my mother retorted me: "What? Hang ink-and-wash drawings? For whom? There are no artists here. Other people who live in luxury house would hang ink-and-wash drawings. Save for yourself, buy a bigger house in the future, and get married. Your father and I live in this old house, no need to worry for us. " My sister and I stood aside, feeling quite uncomfortable.还有一次，老姐说要帮妈买一套唐装，等全家人回来过年的时候拍一张全家福。话还没说完，妈就从箱底里翻出几年前七大姑八大姨甩给她的一大堆旧衣服，一边数落老姐浪费钱，一边说有几件衣服成色还不错，要改给老姐穿。老姐吓得赶紧躲到厨房里去洗菜。Another time, my sister said she wanted to help her buy a Tang suit and take a family portrait when the whole family get together for the Chinese New Year. Before she finished her words, my mother took out a bunch of old clothes that the aunties gave to her a few years ago, from the bottom of the wardrobe. While she was blaming my elder sister ever think of wasting money, she also said that some clothes were in good condition. Some dress can be changed into dress for my elder sister. My elder sister was so scared that she hid in the kitchen to wash vegetables.妈就是这样的人，她的审美永远停留在曾经的那个年代，她的脑子永远也逃不出实用主义。如果我买一束花摆在家里，说不定还没看几天，老妈会拿着菜刀直接把花剁碎，然后散到院子里去喂鸡，毕竟鸡肉和鸡蛋比花更实在。My mother is this kind of person, her aesthetics still and will always stay in the past era, and her mind may never escape pragmatism. If I buy a bunch of flowers and put them at home, maybe I will only see it for a few days, my mother will then chop the flowers directly with a kitchen knife, and then scattered to the yard to feed the chicken, after all, chicken and eggs are more tangible than flowers.令人奇怪的是，老妈的实用主义并没有剿灭美在我们心中播下的种子。老姐高中毕业之后，在高校里选读了服装设计专业，现在成为一名小学美术老师。我也经常收集一些有关地理美育的文献，并且对大自然中的美很是着迷，如鲜花、山脉、河流、森林什么之类的。我觉得这可能与从小就包围在我们四周的碎布料有关。妈时常会问姐，这几块布配在一起好不好看，遇到此类的问题时，我和姐都会欣然地参与讨论。仿佛讨论面料上柔美的花色是一件很美好的事。It is strange that my mother's pragmatism has not wiped out the seeds that beauty has sown in our hearts. After graduating from upper secondary school, my elder sister was enrolled in fashion design major in a university. Now she works as a primary school art teacher. I also often collect some literature on geographic aesthetic education, and I am fascinated by the beauty in nature, such as flowers, mountains, rivers, forests and so on. I think it may have something to do with the shredded cloth that surrounds us from an early age. Mom often asks my sister if these pieces of cloth look good when putting together. When encountering such problems, my sister and I are always willing to participate in the discussion. It seems like a wonderful thing to discuss the soft and beautiful colors on the fabric.2随着生活水平的提高，中国人的生活里开始出现了花店。每次路过花店，我都会驻足品味几番。不知从什么时候起，我养成了每年过年都会买花的习惯。今年大年三十，我又到常去的那个花店里订花。As the living standards improve, flower shops began to appear in the lives of Chinese people. Every time I pass by the flower shop, I tend to stop and appreciate them. I don't know exactly when, now I have the habit of buying flowers every time near the Chinese New Year. In the New Year's Eve of this year, I still went to the regular flower shop again to order flowers.花店在一个比较老旧的小区，由一间狭小潮湿的杂物房改装成的，由于临近街道，再加上不用交一些乱七八糟的费用，所以价格比较便宜。花店的装修虽然没有别家那样考究，但老板娘善良话语融合在一起，本身就是一种享受。The flower shop is located in an older neighborhood, converted from a small and wet utility room. The price is cheaper because it is close to the street and the shop owner does not have to pay too many fees. Although the decoration of the flower shop is not as sophisticated as other shops, the good words of the shop owner are a treat in itself.每年老板娘一见我去，就特别高兴。我是她的老客，而且每年只来一次。当我走进花店时，看到小店的沙发上推了一些五颜六色的方块布料，旁边还放了做到一半的针线活。我好奇地拿起那个布艺翻来覆去看。店里的小狗见我动了主人的东西，便开始叫个不停。老板娘闻声从花架的背后探出头来。Every time the shop owner meets me, she is very happy. I have been her customer for many years, and I only come once a year. When I walked into the flower shop, I saw some colorful square cloths pushed on the sofa of the shop, and half of the needlework was placed next to it. I curiously picked up the fabric and turned it around. The little puppy in the shop saw me moving the owner's things and started barking constantly. The shop owner heard the sound and stuck her head up from the flower stand.“小伙子，你来了？”蹲在地上的老板娘边说边吃力地站起来。由于腿脚不便，再加上腰又出了问题，老板娘险些要摔倒过去。"Young man, are you here?" The shop owner squatting on the ground said, struggling to stand up. Due to the inconvenience of her legs and feet and the problem of her waist, she almost fell over.我赶忙上前扶她一把，然后扶她坐到沙发上。“是啊，我来要几束花！”I hurried forward to help her, and then helped her sit on the sofa. "Yeah, I want some flowers!"每年来花店一次，每次发现她的身体一年不如一年，今年衰老的速度仿佛比往年都快。白发、倦容、吃力的呼吸，叠加在堆满碎布料的背景里，那个画面让我感到如此辛酸和熟悉。I come to the flower shop once a year, and each time I find that her body is not as good as the year before, this year she seems to be aging faster than previous years. The white hair, tiredness, and strenuous breathing, and the background of the pile of shredded cloth, made me feel so bitter and familiar.“阿姨去哪找来那么多漂亮的布头？打算做什么？”我笑着问。"Where did you find so many beautiful cloth? What are you going to do?" I asked with a smile.“哦，这些是收集了几年的旧布头，扔掉蛮可惜的，今天没什么客人，所以就拿出来摆弄一下，想做一个抱枕。”"Oh, these are old cloth heads that have been collected for several years. It is a pity to throw them away. There are no guests today, so I took them out and put them together, I want to make a cushion."“没什么客人？往年这时候不是最忙的吗？”"No guests? Wasn't it the busiest this time in previous years?"“是啊！但今年的疫情，谁都不敢出门，更不用说往别人家里送东西了，万一出了什么问题……唉！我的这些花都不知道该怎么办！”脸上的焦虑更是增添了她的憔悴。"Yeah! But this year's epidemic, no one dare to go out, let alone send things to other people's homes, in case something goes wrong ... oh! I don't know what to do with these flowers!" The anxiety on her face has made her look more worn out.“现在的花是什么价？”"What's the price of the flower now?"“你想要的话，我打六折给你吧！但找不到人帮送花。你可以先订，等疫情稍微缓解一点了，我叫我爱人帮你送出去，你看行吗？”老板娘的话里带着几分恳求。"If you want, I'll give you a 40% discount! But you can't find someone to help you send flowers. You can order first, and when the epidemic eases a little, I'll ask my partner to send the flowers. Does my plan sounds okay to you?" There was a little pleading in this lady's words.我想了一会，说：“好吧，我现在买两束花。一束我先把钱转给你，等疫情好了你帮我送出去；一束你现在就帮我包好，等会我拿走。”I thought about it for a while and said, "Okay, I want to buy two bunches of flowers now. I'll transfer the money to you first, and wait for the epidemic, when it is gone, please help me to send it ; as for the other bunch, wrap it for me now, I will take it. "“好的，你等会拿走的花是送给什么人，我帮你选一下。”"Nice, who are you will take the flowers to? I'll choose them for you."“……是……送给我妈妈。”"... Ah ... for my mother."“你妈妈喜欢什么花？”"What flowers does your mother like?"“我也不知道，我以前从来没有给我妈买过花。”说这句话时我有些惭愧。"I don't know. I never bought flowers for my mother before." I felt a bit ashamed when I said this.“今年怎么想起要给妈妈买花了？”"How come this idea come to you, to buy flowers for your mother this year?"“因为今年买的花都送不出去，所以只能送给我妈了。……往年都是给别人送花，自己的老妈都没送过，这好像有点说不过去。”"Because I can not send the flowers I bought this year, I can only give them to my mother. ... In the past, I gave flowers to others, but I never send flower to my mum, which seems a bit unjustifiable."“嗯，这个理由不错。”"Well, that's a good reason."老板娘一口气帮我包了十支高档的香水百合。She helped me to pack ten high-end perfume lilies in one bouquet.按照往年的价，大概要花两三百块钱。我这样拿回家，可能会被家里的人骂死。我连忙叫她抽出几支。In view of the price in previous years, it will probably cost two to three hundred yuan. If I take this flower bouquet home, I may be scolded by my family. I quickly asked her to pull out a few.但老板娘没这么做，走时她对我说：“去年你来订花时，忘记拿走一箱果，我打电话给你，你说你在外地，等回到市里这箱果早就坏了。后来你说把那箱果送给我们，祝我们新年快乐，谢谢你。明天起，政府要求我们这条街的所有铺面关门歇业，这些花放在这里烂掉也很可惜的。你拿回去吧！我只收你五十块钱。祝你妈妈新年快乐！”But she did not listen to me. When I left, she said to me, "When you ordered flowers last year, you forgot to take a box of fruit. I called you, and you said you were out of town. This box of fruit would go rotten when you returned to this city. Then you said you want us to have the box of fruit, and wish us a Happy New Year, thank you. Starting from tomorrow, the government asks all the shops on this street to close. It is a pity that these flowers will rot if left here. So take them to your home! I only charge you fifty yuan. Happy new year to your mother! "3我抱着一大把芬芳四溢的百合穿过肮脏、潮湿、喧嚣的菜市，这是离我家最近的一条路。一路上，几个摊位的小贩都用异样的目光打量我，好像是那束百合让我与周围的世界格格不入。我在想，当我到家时，妈会用什么样的目光打量我。When I held a large handful of fragrant lilies through the dirty, damp, hustle and bustle of the vegetable market, which is the closest road to my home. Along the way, several stallholders looked at me with a strange look, as if the bunch of lilies made me not a fit with the world around me. I was wondering what kind of look my mother would have when I arrived home.回到家，我悄悄地推开门。大厅里，妈一个人躺在睡椅上里看电视。我轻轻地从背后走到她的跟前，蹲下来，把那束百合轻轻地放在她的腿上。妈迟钝地把目光从电视机移到我的脸，我什么都没说，只是笑着看着妈。妈一脸的疑惑，皱着眉头奇怪地看着我。对妈的这种反应，我已经习惯了。她再也不像年轻时那样反应灵敏、快言快语。I came back home and quietly opened the door. In the hall, my mother was lying on a couch by herself and watching TV. I walked gently from her back to come close, squatted down, and gently placed the bunch of lilies on her lap. Mom slowly moved her eyes from the TV to my face. I didn't say anything, just smiled and looked at mum. She looked puzzled, and frowned at me strangely. I'm used to this reaction. She was no longer as responsive and quick as she had been when she was younger.“妈，漂亮吗？这花漂亮不漂亮？”我轻轻地问。"Mum, is it pretty? Is this flower pretty?" I asked softly.妈把目光吃力地移动到百合上，还是疑惑、皱眉。不知过了多久，妈伸出布满裂纹的手去触摸花枝上的绿叶。随着叶子上的纹络，一下，两下，三下。妈好像想起了什么。Mum moved her eyes to lilies, still puzzled and frowned. After some time, she reached out her cracked hand to touch the green leaves on the flowering branch. With the lines on the leaves, she touched once, twice, three times. My mum seems to have something coming back to her memory."Mum, is this flower pretty?" I asked again.“妈，这花漂不漂亮？”我又问了一次。妈没有理我，断续摸另一张叶子。摸着摸着，她的手慢慢抬高，小心翼翼地触碰那柔美的花瓣。白色的、红色的，…… 笑容开始从沧桑的脸上绽放出来。Mum ignored me and touched another leaf intermittently. Touching it, her hand slowly raised, carefully touching the delicate petals. White, red, ... A smile began to bloom from her worn face.“妈笑了，妈笑了！……妈，这花漂不漂亮？漂不漂亮？”我兴奋地叫起来。"Mum is smiling, mum is similing! ... Mom, isn't this flower pretty? Isn't it pretty?" I cried excitedly.老姐听到动静赶紧从厨房里跑出来。“啊！百合？你去哪弄来的百合？”姐脸上写着兴奋和惊喜。My elder sister hurriedly ran out of the kitchen when hearing my voice. "Ah! lilies? Where did you get them?" Her face is full of excitement and surprise.“我买的，刚才妈用手去摸百合，她还笑了。”"I bought it. Mum just touched lilies with her hand and she smiled."“笑了？！”姐也赶紧蹲到妈的跟前，用脸贴近花束，深深地吸了口气。“嗯！好香！这花好香。……妈，你闻闻，看香不香？”"Smile ?!" My sister also quickly squatted in front of Mum, leaned her face against the bouquet, and took a deep breath. "Huh! So fragrant! This flower is so fragrant .... Mum, have you smelled them?"妈疑惑地看了看姐，然后吃力地低下头，模仿姐的动作，用鼻子慢慢地凑近粉色的花蕊，闻了闻。Mum looked at my sister in confusion, then lowered her head, imitated her movements, and slowly approached the pink flower with her nose and smelled.“香不香？妈，这花香不香？……香就眨一下眼睛，眨一下眼睛！”姐充满期待地问。"Is it fragrant? Mum, isn't this floral scent? ... If you think so, give me a blink, blink your eyes!" Sister asked expectantly.妈又吃力地闻了闻，笑容再次舒展在她的脸上。Mum sniffed again, and her smile stretched on her face again.“妈眨眼睛了！妈在眨眼睛！……她知道我们说什么！……她知道！”姐兴奋地叫起来，泪水划过她的脸庞。"Mum blinked! Mum blinked! ... She knows what we say! ... She knows!" My sister cried out excitedly, tears running across her face.两年了，全家人再也没有看到这久违的笑容。It has been two years since the whole family see this long-lost smile.自从2018年以来，妈由于脑血管破裂就再也没有笑过。脑颅手术之后，医生说她将永远失去语言能力，再也无法与外人正常交流，右手和右脚也会丧失知觉，反应会比以前迟钝很多。Since 2018, my mother had never smiled again because of a cerebrovascular rupture. After craniocerebral surgery, the doctor said that she would lose her language ability forever, she would no longer be able to communicate normally with people, her right hand and her right foot would lose consciousness, and her response would be much slower than before.为了给妈找到全市最好的康复师，全家人跑遍全市所有的大医院，其间不知遭遇多少冷眼。纵使在各大医院里整整护理了一年，妈仍然没有恢复到我们预期的状态。把妈接回家后，妈与我们都生活在同一个屋檐下，但却没有人知道妈的内心世界。In order to find the best rehabilitation practitioner in the city for her, the whole family tried all the major hospitals in the city, during which I did not know how many cold eyes were encountered. Even after a full year of nursing care in major hospitals, mum still did not return to our expected state. After picking up her back to home, mother live under the same roof with us, but no one knows her inner world.与妈的交流只是一日三餐的喂饭，还有早晚时间段尿片的换洗和清理。刚开始时，我和姐都没有经过专业的护理训练，给妈穿衣服时经常要花费一个多小时的时间。有时不小心把妈给碰疼了，妈也从来不叫；姐常拿着妈以前做过布艺逗妈开心，妈也从来不笑。家人能看到最多的，就是妈带着几分疑惑的呆滞。The exchange with my mother was only feeding her three meals a day, as well as changing and washing diapers in the morning and evening. At the beginning, as my sister and I did not have professional nursing training, and it often took more than an hour to dress my mother. Sometimes I accidentally hurt my mother, and my mother never said anything; my sister often took the cloth to make her happy, and mom never smiled. The family can see the most is the stunned mother with a little doubt.姐转过脸，抹掉面颊上的泪水，她问我：“怎么想到要买花？”She turned her face and wiped away the tears on her cheeks. She asked me, "Why do you want to buy flowers?"“刚接到哥的电话，他从广州回来，要在隔离点隔离14天，今年就不能回家吃年夜饭了。……因为哥不能回家陪妈过年，我就买了一束花来陪妈过年。”"I just received a call from my brother. He came back from Guangzhou. And he needs to be self-isolated for 14 days at the quarantine point. This year, he will not be able to go home for New Year's Eve dinner .... As brother can't go home to stay with mother for the Chinese New Year, I bought a bunch of flowers instead to keep mum a companion. "姐转哭为笑说：“以后过年，我们都给妈买一束花。”My sister stopped crying and said with a smile, "Now the new family tradition of Chinese New Year, we will buy a flower bouquet for our mother."“嗯！”"Deal!"大年三十的年夜饭里，摆在餐桌正中的不是大鱼大肉，而是插在花瓶里的一束百合。优雅、坚定、芬芳四溢。爸幸福地给妈喂饭，妈一边吃，一边看着餐桌上的百合。姐和姐夫不停地往火锅里添菜，我和侄子边吃边在在谈论明年高考的动向。In the New Year's Eve dinner, what was placed in the center of our table is not fish or meat dish, but a bunch of lilies in a vase. Elegant, firm and fragrant. My father fed my mother happily. My mother ate while watching the lilies on the table. My sister and brother-in-law kept adding vegetables to the hot pot. My nephew and I were talking about the trend of the higher education entrance examination next year.在这个疫情肆虐的冬夜里，守护我的，正是这一束花、一家人、一缕香、一屋载满温暖的灯光。What guards me is this bunch of flowers, a family, a scent, and a house filled with warm lights in the winter night where the epidemic is raging.陶理看完这段的感受：Hermione's feelings:我的妈妈对于美的品味也和韦华东的妈妈是相似的。我的理解是她们都成长于一个十分匮乏的年代。幸运的是我们，我们的父母并没有强迫我们也必须像他们一样生活，活在过去。My mother's taste of beauty is similar to Wei's mother has. I understand that can be a habit as they grew up in really tough time. And luckily for both of us, our parents do not force us to live like them and live in the past.不同的是，我很早就知道我妈妈其实也喜欢花花，是因为从小在我外婆家就有花花草草，当然还是果树居多，因为可以吃嘛。现在我也会给我妈买花，就算她骂我，也还是坚持浪费这个钱。因为我觉得首先我妈其实不缺吃喝，可却总是忙于日常琐碎，甚至在春花烂漫的现在，也不会停下来看会儿花。这一点钱还在我的负担范围之内，我不介意违逆她，让她的生活里多一点花香。The difference is that I know my mother in fact like the flowers, it is because my grandparents on my mother's side actually keep flowers and fruit trees in their garden. Mainy for food, of course. So I now will also buy flowers for my mother, although she blames me for wasting money. Because I know my mum actually lives a life without worrying where to find next meals, but she has been kept busy with daily doings, and even in a spring like this, she often does not stop for appreciating flowers. And the money I spent is affordable, so I do not mind go against her, by making her life surrounded with some flowers.我想要声明的一点是，买花送妈妈并不是我们鼓励每位读者都去做的。只是恰好我们都和妈妈有这样的故事。你的妈妈可能喜欢拍照，可能喜欢画画，可能想要练拳击，所有这些都是你可以陪伴她去做的事情。What I want to say is, we are not suggesting every reader to buy flowers for your mum. It is accidently that our mum have connections with flowers. Your mother may like taking photos, may prefer drawing, may want to try boxing, all of these can be what you accompany them.我想请各位读者试试看，和你的妈妈，或者和你身边你想更亲近些的女性长辈，多花点时间，学着像新认识的朋友那样相处看看。不只是为了让更多女性的故事得到讲述和记录，也是为了我们可以更了解作为一个人的母亲、长辈，而不只是因为我们有血缘亲情。I want to invite you to try this, with you mother, or some senior female figure you want to get closer, spend more time with each other as you are making new friends. It is not just for me that more stories can be written down and told, but also for us, we can get to know someone as a human beyond being a mother, a senior figure, not just we are connected by blood.
