【随笔】疫中读诗：婚姻的真相
隔离在家，断断续续读了一些书，其中一本诗集里的一首诗让我莞尔，也让我想到所谓婚姻的真相。相信经历过隔离在家的已婚朋友们，突然与外界隔离，只和伴侣孩子朝夕相处，可能对婚姻也有新的看法。
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将如何结束
我们正走在海边木板步行道上
但停下来，我们看到救生员和他的女友
在争吵。我们听不到他们在说什么
但看起来和电影一样精彩。我们坐到椅子上想看
争执将如何结束。从她的肢体语言我能猜到
他一定犯了很糟糕的错误。她站在梯子底下，
梯子上面是他工作的小屋。他试图走下梯子，
接近她，但她一直警告不要靠近。
我丈夫说：“啊！他可有罪受了。“
我说：”他自作自受。“
我丈夫认为是救生员出轨了，但我觉得
她受够了他只是打零工
或者他忘记寄房租支票。
救生员想伸手拉她，
她举手挡住，就像Diana Ross
在演唱”停止以爱的名义“时的姿势。
红旗子猛烈拍打着他的工作屋，标志今天的大浪。
”她只是要发泄，“
我丈夫笑了，但我没有笑。
我开始教导那个女孩离开这个没用的救生员，
但我丈夫预测她永远不会离开他。
我气愤他对这样的情景幸灾乐祸，
我说：”那是你的问题-你以为每个争执
很好笑，你根本没把她当回事，“他说：
”你都不给那个男人一次机会，你总是抱怨，
他怎么分辨是真的有问题还是她吹毛求疵？“
我说：”她不是在吹毛求疵！“ 他说：”真的？
他应该开始把她的唠叨录下来，“我说：
“也许他应该多分担，” 他说：
“也许她应该更鼓励，” 我问：”你是说鼓励还是帮助他？“
我丈夫说他已经在尽全力，
天啊，他只是个救生员而已，我说
她的工作更不容易，她是服务员
整晚端着沉重的碗盘，一直应付变态游客
的挑逗，而他大部分时候只是在那儿打盹，
听听音乐电台，哦，然后
他突然成了英雄，吹着哨子
跑进水里搭救那些恭维他的泳装女孩们。
我丈夫说她好像也不是什么纯真小姐，
看她调情的样子，老板没注意的时候
给客人免费续杯，或者切特别大份的派
好多得小费，哦，不！她可不会那么干，因为她是圣人
而他是恶魔，我说：“我不懂你为什么就不能承认
他是个笨蛋，” 我丈夫说：“我不懂你为什么就不能承认
她总让人扫兴。” 然后，突然间，那对情侣和好了。
红旗子甩动，松垂下来。
她拥住他的脖子，靠在他的肩头哭泣。
他急切的把她抱进他的小屋。我们左右环顾，但是没人在看我们。
作者：Denise Duhamel
翻译：素玲
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在这首诗里，一对夫妇在海边散步看到救生员和他的女友吵架，夫妇俩对救生员和他女友的立场各自做了解读和想象，将自己代入进去，开始互相指责。
婚姻是我们人生中的重要选择，婚姻不是必须的，在正常情况下，没有人能真正强迫我们进入婚姻，但是大部分人还是选择了婚姻，或者害怕孤单，害怕再拖下去，在择偶市场上失去竞争力，还是及早结婚，比较安全，或者感情正浓，希望感情能长久和稳定，也有人是被动选择，家人朋友唠叨，大家都结婚了，他/她原本说不上想结或不想结，但是就随大流结婚了。
但是婚姻不像选错的衣服，可以放在一边，不去穿它，婚姻这个选择不容易那样轻置， 一来它是法律和道德的契约，夫妻之间有义务和互相约束的权力，违约的一方会受到法律和道德的惩罚，二来随着婚姻有财产的安排居所甚至职业的变动，婚姻是一项重大的投资，人们很难舍弃已经投入的成本， 三来婚姻中不仅仅有夫妻两人，还有双方家人、孩子、和朋友，婚姻关系的变动意味着改变和其他所有人的关系，非常伤筋动骨。
所以对于婚姻，人们潜意识里会把离婚作为最后一项选择，理智的人都会尽量维护婚姻关系。但是夫妻们很难多年持续爱情，好的婚姻到最后一般是变成有合法性关系的好朋友，普通的婚姻则变成由合法性关系的家庭同事， 搭伙承担经济和抚育后代的责任，差一点的婚姻像诗中吵架的夫妇，各自的需求无法满足，厌恶对方的缺点，遇到点火星就会火冒三丈，最差的婚姻则各有问题，分崩离析。
大部分婚姻是普通的婚姻，日常生活中，鸡毛蒜皮的问题不断，但运行无碍。不过这次疫情后，离婚率上升，倒是说明了很多夫妇平时各自上班，工作压力大，婚姻已经不是生活的中心，和伴侣一天也只是相处三、四个小时（除去睡觉时间），这三四个小时，说说各自工作，唠叨唠叨孩子，干点家务，就过去了。但是隔离在家，二十四小时四目相对，突然婚姻变成生活的中心，我们能应对一天十几个小时的工作，却发现自己不能应对突然时刻要共处一室的伴侣。在现代社会，商业和国家福利在分担婚姻中的责任包括家务、孩子的教育、老人的照养等，疫情突然把这些已经从很多家庭中剥离的任务重新压在夫妻身上，让人难以适应，所以我们看到了离婚率的上升。
想象诗中的夫妇如果碰到今天的肺炎疫情，需要隔离在家，他们的婚姻会怎样？或者像诗的标题所问：How will it end? (将如何结束？） 也许他们觉得离婚了也不会有更好的伴侣，继续互相忍受？也许他们个性很强，宁愿孤单，也不愿勉强维护不快乐的婚姻？也许他们觉得为了婚姻已经付出太多，放弃意味着自己是个傻瓜，所以告诉自己其实这个婚姻没那么糟？也许他们找到聪明的解决办法，分处两个房间，每天只见面两个小时？也许。。。。
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诗的英文原文如下：
How It Will End
We're walking on the boardwalk
but stop when we see a lifeguard and his girlfriend
fighting. We can't hear what they're saying,
but it is as good as a movie. We sit on a bench to find out
how it will end. I can tell by her body language
he's done something really bad. She stands at the bottom
of the ramp that leads to his hut. He tries to walk halfway down
to meet her, but she keeps signaling don't come closer.
My husband says, "Boy, he's sure in for it,"
and I say, "He deserves whatever's coming to him."
My husband thinks the lifeguard's cheated, but I think
she's sick of him only working part time
or maybe he forgot to put the rent in the mail.
The lifeguard tries to reach out
and she holds her hand like Diana Ross
when she performed "Stop in the Name of Love."
The red flag that slaps against his station means strong currents.
"She has to just get it out of her system,"
my husband laughs, but I'm not laughing.
I start to coach the girl to leave the no-good lifeguard,
but my husband predicts she'll never leave.
I'm angry at him for seeing glee in their situation
and say, "That's your problem—you think every fight
is funny. You never take her seriously" and he says,
"You never even give the guy a chance and you're always nagging,
so how can he tell the real issues from the nitpicking?"
and I say, "She doesn't nitpick!" and he says, "Oh really?
Maybe he should start recording her tirades," and I say
"Maybe he should help out more," and he says
"Maybe she should be more supportive," and I say
"Do you mean supportive or do you mean support him?"
and my husband says that he's doing the best he can,
that's he's a lifeguard for Christ's sake, and I say
that her job is much harder, that she's a waitress
who works nights carrying heavy trays and is hit on all the time
by creepy tourists and he just sits there most days napping
and listening to "Power 96" and then ooh
he gets to be the big hero blowing his whistle
and running into the water to save beach bunnies who flatter him
and my husband says it's not as though she's Miss Innocence
and what about the way she flirts, giving free refills
when her boss isn't looking or cutting extra large pieces of pie
to get bigger tips, oh no she wouldn't do that because she's a saint
and he's the devil, and I say, "I don't know why you can't just admit
he's a jerk," and my husband says, "I don't know why you can't admit
she's a killjoy," and then out of the blue the couple is making up.
The red flag flutters, then hangs limp.
She has her arms around his neck and is crying into his shoulder.
He whisks her up into his hut. We look around, but no one is watching us.