奇了！怪了！恩施高中竟有这样的作业！

历史作业：

白话文在现代日常生活中使用，而文言文、英文则分别是通向中国古代文明、西方文明的钥匙。

请用白话文、文言文、英文三种语言形式写一篇自传，字数至少200字（或单词），无上限。尊重原创，可以模仿，但绝对不能抄袭。

恩施高中2019级17班邓森元同学自传

文言版

柴犬居士传

且说因果有缘，造化不乱，天地之间，鹤峰县城一小康之家诞下一子，其名森元，承父姓邓。五行缺木，合三木，为一森，有森林广博之意。生于子时，遂以元字为末。然观其面相，实难自夸，不过喜得一双剑眉，论及细目，粗鼻，大嘴，不能自得。

门庭不兴，祖辈不过乡野之人。可喜家严求学小成，筑小康之家，无饥寒之苦。父母二人，时有拌嘴，虽磕磕绊绊，然心心相映已历二十余载，不离不弃，善哉，感人至深也。

其人处事一般，虽无甚差错，但也难说优异。论其交际，不置可否，天性孤僻，然日久温情，坚冰渐融，有望得以慷慨立世，不必多说。

此人好读书，然不爱课本，不喜古典，不掉书袋。心向欧美，面朝当代。所读之物，微至网络文学，大至世界名著。若论其嗜读之源，当属魔幻现实主义。一朝入坑，难以自拔。遂逢书必读，有文皆阅。年未十八，所读之书，涉猎已广，然论其深究与否，实属未曾。粗涉马列主义，既有量变，期以质变。

嗜读之外，唯有嗜吃。此人饥时，风卷残云，山珍海味，零食甜点，来者不拒。奈何食之若无物，积之似海洋，日久体胖，容貌渐销，遂发觉肥胖之害，定心减肥，若功成，则极佳；若功没，则自嘲为体胖心宽，共勉共勉。

此人，以愚人之态面世，以好读之人自勉，以嗜吃之人自宽。是浪子，似痴儿，不过一柴犬居士而已。（审核：流浪醉客）

白话版

邓森元自传

我于地球平稳运转的某年某月某日凌晨1点1分于鹤峰县城降生于尘世。因为五行缺木，取三木合为森，生于1点1分，取元字为末，遂以邓森元为行走世间的名号。我生得并不颠倒众生，详细说来，便是一张椭圆的脸上点缀着两道浓眉，一双细眼，一寸粗鼻，一张大嘴而已，总结概括为一正常人。

论起出身，似乎也无亮点可寻，不用受饥寒之苦，也无福享受荣华之美，用一个名词形容——小康之家。家中唯我一个独子。父母两人，说来奇怪，时而吵闹如蛟龙相斗，时而恩爱如举案齐眉，吵吵闹闹，分分合合，磕磕绊绊，风浪中共度近二十载，喜成银婚，不离不弃。

若论性格，就我自己来说——奇怪。可能早产导致先天不足，童年时生长发育略微迟钝，致使受到些许排挤，遂与人交往不利，随着年龄增长情况好转不少，但在与异性交往之上着实困难仍在。

个性之外，还有爱好，本人无十分的书生之气，但也颇为羡慕欧美文字的浪漫之风，小到网络文学，大到世界名著，凡所能看到的书籍，皆有所观阅，但无耐心深究，至今还没有深研过几本书。

除阅读外，本人不多的爱好之一，便是吃，和阅读有共同点，来者不拒，零食瓜子、甜点山珍，到过嘴里的，眼里看过的还挺多，友人戏称“元元出征，寸草不生”。嗜吃之后遗症便是体胖。心宽是天生的，体胖是自成的，不过，倒也人畜无害。

总结一句：我这人，呆里透着可爱，小聪明里有着几分搞怪；有时话唠叨，有时又沉默寡言，凑凑合合一个人，折折腾腾走世间。（审核：流浪醉客）

英文版

The Story of a Firewooddog Lay

It is an earth boy who was born at 1:31 am on August 31, 2003.If you look at her carefully,you will find he has  two thick eyebrows, thin eyes, a big nose and a big mouth.It is not handsome or ugly .Maybe we can describe him as “a normal boy”.

As a normal boy he has ordinary parents ,too.His family is neither very good nor very bad. A well-off family is really a right description.Though it seems a middle class home,his childhood is not the perfect one but it is also a barely happy one When he was a child his interpersonal skill was not very good.Maybe it is caused by prematurity or it was not.Although it is really a little embarassing he just tried to get along with others well.And as for his parents , they treat him as the apple of their eyes,but the only pity is that they quarreled a lot。As for our firewooddog lay , it is noting.He loves them just like they love him——forever.

Perhaps the more interesting thing is himself，he looks like just a Chinese high school student,yeah,just look like.In fact,he is a strange boy,and a little cool,too.Like most young people today, he loves video games.He regards it as the fifth most important thing in life.Maybe you wonder the other four,they are life,love,health and career.But why is it strange?Different from many E-sports enthusiast,he likes reading books,too.You in china parents are not interested in their children playing games,so when he is not allowed to play games altough he does not want to do other things,he begins to read.He has read a great number of books.Small to network literature to the world famous works，he almost reads every kind of books.But in his view ，reading the classics is of course even more useful,he stiil likes reanding novels most.When he tries to read them it provides him with power and happiness.

In addition to this，he like eating very much and he refused everything, whether snacks or delicacies.But as we know the more you eat, the fatter you get.But he happily said it just makes him look more friendly,Though he just thinkes like this,he is losing weight recently.

Maybe it's better to talk too much than to see yourself，but in total he is here a simple but not simple boy.(Maybe)（审核：赵君）