如何培养出乐意帮你忙的孩子
It was a simple experiment.
这是一个简单的实验
Lucia Alcala, a psychologist, built a tiny model grocery store with aisles and different items that she could put on a family's dining room table.
心理学家露西娅·阿尔卡拉建造了一个小型模型杂货店，里面有过道和不同的物品，孩子们可以把它们放在家里的餐桌上。
She and her colleagues brought the model store to 43 family's homes along California's Central Coast. Each family had a pair of siblings, ages 6 to 10.
她和她的同事们把模型店带到加州中部海岸的43户人家，每个家庭都有一对6到10岁的兄弟姐妹。
She gave the siblings clear instructions:
她给这些孩子们下达了清晰的指令：
Find an efficient route through the store to pick up a list of grocery items and — this was made clear — "work together, collaborate and help each other," says Alcala at California State University, Fullerton.
加州州立大学富勒顿分校的阿尔卡拉说:“在商店里找到一条有效的路线，拿起购物清单，并且——这一点很清楚——“一起工作，合作，互相帮助。
"We gave them very specific instructions."
“我们讲得非常清楚。”
Alcala and her colleagues logged what happened.
阿尔卡拉和她的同事记录了发生的事情。
Did the siblings help each other?
那么这些孩子们互相帮助了吗？
Did they boss each other around?
他们会相互命令对方吗？
Did the older ones exclude the younger ones from the task?
更大的姐姐或者哥哥会丢下弟弟或者妹妹吗？
For decades, scientists have documented a surprising phenomenon: In many cultures around the world, parents don't struggle to raise helpful, kind kids.
几十年来，科学家们记录了一个令人惊讶的现象:在世界各地的许多文化中，父母并会不努力培养乐于助人、善良的孩子。
From ages 2 to 18, kids want to help their families.
从2岁到18岁的孩子都会想帮助他们的家庭。
They wake up in the morning and voluntarily do the dishes.
他们早上起床后都会自愿去洗碗。
They hop off their bikes to help their dad carry groceries into the house.
他们跳下自行车后，会帮爸爸把食品杂货搬进屋去。
And when somebody hands them a muffin, they share it with a younger sibling before taking a bite themselves.
当有人递给他们一块松饼时，他们会和弟弟妹妹分享，然后再自己吃一口。
You can find kids like this in a huge range of cultures, scientists have documented: from hunter-gatherers in the Arctic to farmers in the Andes, from pastoralists in Kenya's savanna to fisherfolk in the Philippines.
你可以在很多不同的文化中找到这样的孩子，科学家已经记录了:从北极的狩猎采集者到安第斯山脉的农民，从肯尼亚热带草原的牧民到菲律宾的渔民，情形都是如此。
For the past four years, I've been on a mission to learn why.
在过去的四年里，我一直致力于研究其中的原因。
What are these parents doing to instill such helpfulness in their kids?
这些父母在向孩子们灌输这种乐于助人的精神方面做了些什么呢?
I describe what I found in my new book Hunt, Gather, Parent.
我在新书《寻找、收集、养育》中描述了我的发现。
While researching for the book, I traveled to three of the world's most revered cultures — the Maya, Inuit and Hadzabe — and talked with moms, dads, grandpas, grandmas, great-grandmas and grandpas about parenting.
为了写这本书，我游历了世界上三个最受尊敬的文化——玛雅文化、因纽特文化和哈扎比文化——并与妈妈、爸爸、爷爷、奶奶、曾祖母和爷爷谈论育儿之道。
I also brought along my toddler, Rosy, so the parents could see just what I was up against.
我还带了我蹒跚学步的孩子罗斯一起来，这样父母就能清楚地看到我面对的是什么。
When I returned home, I read more than a hundred studies on the topic.
当我回到家，我读了一百多篇关于这个主题的研究。
I realized there are two key practices that parents, all around the world, use to teach children to be helpful and cooperative.
我意识到，世界各地的父母都用两种方法来教育孩子们要乐于助人，要合作。
And yet many American parents (including the one writing this essay) often do just the opposite — a point Alcala and her colleagues have documented in several studies.
然而，许多美国父母(包括撰写本文的那位)经常做的恰恰相反——这一点阿尔卡拉和她的同事在几项研究中都有记录。
Say, for example, you're scrambling eggs in the morning and your 4-year-old hops up on a stool and grabs the spatula from your hands.
举个例子，你早上在炒鸡蛋，你四岁的孩子跳上凳子，从你手里拿起锅铲。
What do you do?
你会做什么呢？
How you respond to a very young child who shows interest in helping is key to whether or not that child grows into a 12-year-old who wants to help around the house, or (and this will sound familiar to many of us) a kid who rolls their eyes when you ask, according to Alcala.
据阿尔卡拉研究表明，对于一个有兴趣给你帮忙的孩子你究竟作何反应，将会决定他们长到12岁之后，到底是变成一个愿意帮忙做家务的孩子，又或者一个你让他去做他只会翻白眼的孩子。
In several studies she conducted, many moms told Alcala that they don't let young children and toddlers help around the house.
在她进行的几项研究中，许多妈妈告诉阿尔卡拉，她们不让年幼的孩子和蹒跚学步的孩子帮忙做家务。
"What they say is that, 'I know she's not going to do a competent job, and she's going to create more work for me,'" Alcala says.
“他们会说，'我知道她不会胜任这份工作，但她会给我添麻烦，’”阿尔卡拉说。
"So the parents exclude the child from helping because they're not competent yet." (That's exactly what I was doing with Rosy.)
“所以父母不让孩子帮忙，因为他们还没有能力。”(我对罗斯就是这样做的。)
But Alcala and other psychologists say this shooing away — or excluding kids from helping — can have negative consequences.
但是阿尔卡拉和其他心理学家说，这种赶走孩子——或不让孩子帮忙——会产生消极的后果。
Over time, it may erode a child's motivation to help and possibly extinguish their desire to cooperate.
久而久之，它可能会削弱孩子的帮助动机，并可能熄灭他们合作的愿望。
问题
文中提到的那本书叫什么名字？
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