Andi讲她的妈妈 #EachforEqual
#每个人的平等
#EachforEqual
Andi的等号手势
Andi's hands-out equal pose
Andi妈妈的故事中英文以及配图由Andi本人提供，作为这项活动的发起者陶理在征得同意的基础上，做了些标点符号和表达方式以及部分颜色的修改，并且做了排版，也附上了自己的个人评论。
慢慢发现自己是一个对性别平等这个话题很不敏感的人，尤其是和许多同龄女生相比的时候，总觉得自己好像很少会遇到因为性别而被歧视或轻视的情况（但更可能是因为自己过于不敏感，所以忽视掉了很多）想了想这确实和我的成长环境有关。对我影响最大的应该还是我妈。我记得以前她跟我说过她小时候一直想着，长大不能成为像我外婆一样的“受气包”。有一个我感触很深的事，是她给我讲的小时候的她和我外婆之间的一段对话。
外婆是很传统的贤妻良母，外公虽然人特别好而且孝顺父母，但脾气有些暴，有时候会对外婆嚷嚷。受了气的外婆不敢直接发泄出来，有时候会去找我妈哭诉，想从自己的小棉袄女儿那里获得一丝安慰。
然而钢铁如我妈，听了外婆的抱怨之后直接对外婆说：“那你跟他离婚啊”。（求外婆当时的心理阴影面积...）外婆有着很传统的观念，觉得离婚是太丢人的事情，听到之后吓了一跳，也不敢哭了，说：“离什么婚，我就是来跟你说说，你可别乱讲！”于是又跟我妈念叨起外公的好来了。我妈说她当时就觉得很奇怪，明明那么难受了，为什么还要忍着。她说她可受不了一个人这么对她嚷嚷。
这么想想，我妈虽然是家里的长女而且有两个弟弟，但外公外婆从来都是最心疼她的。她听话聪明学习好，脾气差的外公也从来没有对她发过什么脾气。他们也都一直很支持她好好上学，不让她操心家务活，所以她从小会很自尊自信。虽然看起来柔弱，但她特别有骨气，温柔的她会在别人对她表示不尊重时变得非常坚决与强硬，果断直接地表明自己的态度和立场。在触及底线的事情上真的是非常刚。特别棒。
力量无关性别或外表，只与内心有关。
强大不是恃强凌弱，而是用自己的力量保护弱小。
这是我从她身上学到的最重要的人生信条。
我爱她。
Slowly I found myself the type of person who is not very sensitive to gender equality stuff, especially when compared with the women at my age. I always feel that I have rarely encountered the cases when I was discriminated because of my gender (but it might be the case that my insensitivity made me overlooked a lot). This should be related to my own growing environment, and my mom is the one who has the biggest impact on me.
I remember she told me that she always thought that when she grows up, she would never become a 受气包 (passive receiver of blames) like my grandma. When I was a child, once she recalled a conversation between my grandma and herself, that story left deep impression in my memory.
My grandma is a traditional Chinese woman, obedient and diligent. Although my grandpa is very nice and filial to his parents, he has a bad temper. Sometimes he scolded my grandma, which made my grandma very upset and heart-broken. Once she cried and complained to my mom, hoped to receive some comfort from her lovely caring little daughter.
However, after listening to my grandma’s complaints, my iron-like mom replied directly: “Then you should divorce him.” My grandma had a very traditional concept, holding that divorce was too shameful for a woman. She was shocked by my mom’s response and did not dare to cry, saying, “Don’t be silly, I just want to talk to you and share my feeling, stop saying this nonsense!” Then she began to talk about the virtues of my grandpa. My mom told me she was puzzled at that time. Why her mom needed to tolerant this, she could never put up with this bad behaviour from her husband.
My mom is the oldest one in her family and has two younger brothers. However, she received the most attention from her parents. She was obedient, smart and was the top student at school. Even my bad-tempered grandpa had never scolded her, and my grandparents always supported her to receive education. She grew up with astrong self-awareness and confidence. Although she looks quite fragile, she is very strong.
Although she looks quite fragile, she is very strong, she will become very firm and tough when others show disrespect to her. She will declare her attitude and position directly, making it difficult to break her bottom line, which is superb.
Strength has nothing to do with gender or appearance, but to the heart.
Being strong is not about bullying, but about protecting.
This is one of the most important life lessons I have learned from my mom.
I love her.
我一直都觉得我从这位紧急联系人身上感受到最多的就是温暖与接纳。这段故事也是我们周五讨论后她完成的"作业"。看见她分享的这个故事更坚定地感受到：女孩能成长成什么样，有什么观点，和她自身的成长经历中有没有被性别所限过有关。
我真心希望有更多的女孩子可以不用对性别议题敏感，因为她们的父母以及身边的人都是首先就把她看作是一个拥有各种可能性的人来看，没有性别设定与期待。
I have always feel the most kindness and acceptance from my emergency contact. The story is her "homework" after our discussion this Friday. Seeing the story she shares helps me confirm that: What kind of woman a girl would grow up into, the opinion she can have would have connection to her experience of gender limitation or not.
I sincerely hope more and more girls do not need to be sensitive of the gender issues, as their parents and people around her first consider she is a human being with all possibilities, not expecting or setting limits because of her gender.