英美文学点歌台| 卸妆翻车现场: 美艳小女子准备要就寝A Beautiful Young Nymph Going to Bed
第一次发文章发了之后Bunny迅速掉粉6个，还让翔子手一抖摔碎了手机屏幕，就因为用了前段时间网红乔碧萝殿下的对比照做封面。
Bunny想起来以前因为同样原因取关了一位北欧家居的公众号：清新小众高雅地道的北欧风格偏要用娱乐圈表情包来撑起前半段推文，Bunny无法接受这样的“反差”萌。
所以换个封面再发一遍啦～
听说有个很火的网络短剧是这样子的：
男生：当我女朋友吧
女生：好呀
男生：那你现在把妆卸了让我看看，我再让你当我女朋友
女生：你刚才前一句话问我什么问题来着？
男生：哦，我说，当我女朋友吧
女生：不！
“A Beautiful Young Nymph Going to Bed”是读友@Penelope点的一首诗，作者就是前两天提倡吃婴儿的给8090后留下心理阴影、让00后感到饿了的Swift。我们知道Swift讽刺的德性之后，读这篇“大型灾难片——卸妆翻车现场”，还是意犹未尽啊，因为它太太太贴近我们的现实生活了。女生晚上去睡觉之前经历的工序确实很复杂，很费时间，不止卸妆，还有一层一层地涂东西，这个行为真是让男生叹为观止的。
不过化妆手残党Bunny认为，会整容术级别化妆的小姐姐，每天花那么多时间把昂贵的化妆品巧妙地放在脸上，说明有钱有闲，对脸蛋有这样的执着，衣品啊护肤啊也不会差，妥妥白富美，肯定看不上那些网坛贴吧叫嚣着要卸妆的直男癌。大家甚至还可以从女权主义的角度怼一下Swift：人人都有爱美权利，关你X事！
Swift描述的卸妆现场，讽刺的是18世纪的妓女Corinna如何用整容术装饰自己丑陋的面容，生病的躯体。当时伦敦这个服务性行业比较繁荣。涂脂抹粉，倚门卖笑，都是中文里形容妓女的词语。妓女仿佛本身就是诠释“artificiality”很契合的例子。用人造的、假的东西，来掩饰本来的面目，对这位可怜的妓女来说，仿佛是迫不得已的事情，为了生活，必须遮盖起自己丑陋的面貌和身体，而代价也是大大的。世界的表面和本质也不一样，如果有一天丑行败漏，就像妓女的化妆品一夜之间消失，我们面对的将会是怎样一个世界呢？
人造的vs自然的艺术理论，表面光鲜vs本质丑陋，妓女悲惨生活vs男人们的好色贪婪，都在这一首卸妆翻车诗中展现出来。艺术理论属于文论范畴，不懂的童鞋请留言，Bunny会解答。最近会慢慢选择大家在点歌帖的留言，也欢迎继续留言点歌，点歌帖在今年考研前都有效，链接在这里：
语言方面，没有给读者设置障碍，很简单哒。现在我们一起来看看这首诗吧！
A Beautiful Young Nymph Going to Bed
JONATHAN SWIFT
Corinna, pride of Drury-Lane
For whom no shepherd sighs in vain;
Never did Covent Garden boast
So bright a battered, strolling toast;
No drunken rake to pick her up,
No cellar where on tick to sup; 去了party没人看上她
Returning at the midnight hour; 半夜回家了
Four stories climbing to her bow’r; 爬了四层楼才到卧室
Then, seated on a three-legged chair,
Takes off her artificial hair: 拿掉假发
Now, picking out a crystal eye, 把假眼睛抠出来？
She wipes it clean, and lays it by. 再把它擦干净？
Her eye-brows from a mouse’s hide, 假睫毛是老鼠毛做的
Stuck on with art on either side,
Pulls off with care, and first displays ’em,
Then in a play-book smoothly lays ’em.
Now dexterously her plumpers draws, 股颊器
That serve to fill her hollow jaws. 可能是放在嘴巴里的下巴处
Untwists a wire; and from her gums
A set of teeth completely comes. 拆下一套完整的假牙
Pulls out the rags contrived to prop
Her flabby dugs and down they drop. 丰胸内衣一脱就下垂
Proceeding on, the lovely goddess “可爱的仙女”
Unlaces next her steel-ribbed bodice; 塑身衣一脱就膨胀
Which by the operator’s skill,
Press down the lumps, the hollows fill,
Up goes her hand, and off she slips
The bolsters that supply her hips. 翘臀神器？
With gentlest touch, she next explores
Her shankers, issues, running sores,
Effects of many a sad disaster; 脱下这些之后全身酸痛
And then to each applies a plaister. 给伤口打上石膏
But must, before she goes to bed, 卸彩妆开始啦
Rub off the dawbs of white and red; 粉底和腮红
And smooth the furrows in her front 抚平皱纹
With greasy paper stuck upon’t. 卸妆油和纸
She takes a bolus ere she sleeps; 吃什么抗氧化保健品？
And then between two blankets creeps. 爬到被子里
With pains of love tormented lies;
Or if she chance to close her eyes, 梦
Of Bridewell and the Compter dreams,
And feels the lash, and faintly screams;
Or, by a faithless bully drawn,
At some hedge-tavern lies in pawn;
Or to Jamaica seems transported,
Alone, and by no planter courted; 孤独
Or, near Fleet-Ditch’s oozy brinks,
Surrounded with a hundred stinks,
Belated, seems on watch to lie,
And snap some cully passing by;
Or, struck with fear, her fancy runs
On watchmen, constables and duns, 客户们
From whom she meets with frequent rubs;
But, never from religious clubs;
Whose favor she is sure to find,
Because she pays ’em all in kind.
Corinna wakes. A dreadful sight!
Behold the ruins of the night! 天呐化妆品被偷走啦！
A wicked rat her plaster stole,
Half eat, and dragged it to his hole.
The crystal eye, alas, was missed;
And puss had on her plumpers pissed.
A pigeon picked her issue-peas;
And Shock her tresses filled with fleas.
The nymph, tho’ in this mangled plight,
Must ev’ry morn her limbs unite.
But how shall I describe her arts
To recollect the scattered parts?
Or shew the anguish, toil, and pain,
Of gath’ring up herself again?
The bashful muse will never bear
In such a scene to interfere.
Corinna in the morning dizened,
Who sees, will spew; who smells, be poison’d.没有化妆品的她会人见人恶
Bunny想涨粉，帮我推荐和转发嘛，谢谢啦～