模范奶爸致24岁的自己

Parenting.

为人父母。

There's no set of rules.

没有现成的规则。

There's probably a lot you've learned along the way -- wisdom you've gathered that you wish you could share with your former self.

有很多道理是一边当家长一边学会的——还有一些智慧你希望能告诉之前的自己。

Ted Gonder, a father of three, did just that.

泰德·冈德尔是三个孩子的父亲，他就这样去做了。

And his resulting Facebook post addressed to his "my childless 24-year-old self" went viral.

而他后来在脸书上写的“致24岁没孩子时的我”最近爆红网络。

In it, he offered tips on how to be a "supportive partner," including to "change EVERY diaper you can."

其中，他提供了一些关于如果做一名“支持对方的伴侣”的建议，包括“尽可能地去换尿布”。

Gonder told us he was prompted to pen the post, which now has 54,000 shares, after the birth of his third son.

冈德尔说在他的第三个儿子出生后，他就很想去写这篇推文，这篇文字已经被分享了54,000次。

"I was lucky to spend several weeks on paternity leave. In between changing newborn diapers and playing with our 1 and 4-year-olds," he said.

“很有幸我得到了几周的产假。这段时间我都在给新生儿宝宝换尿布和陪1岁和4岁大的孩子玩儿之间度过。”他说道。

"Those few weeks provided a chance to reflect on how much I've learned on the beautiful battlefield of parenting in the first few years. My incredible wife has birthed three kids in 5 years and we've co-parented every step of the way, so a lot of my biggest learnings have been about how to be a supportive partner before and after birth."

“这几周的时间让我有机会检验前几年在为人父母这方面我所学到的知识。我伟大的老婆五年给我生了三个孩子，我们一直陪伴他们成长，所以我最大的收获就是关于在孩子出生前和出生后如何做一名支持对方的伴侣。”

"It's been hard for me to find good dad advice along the way," he said.

“这一路上要想得到当好爸爸的建议是很难的。”他说道。

"So I decided to write about what I'd tell the younger version of myself."

“我所以我打算将我想告诉更年轻的自己的话写下来。”

His wife, he said, appreciated the post.

他说，他的太太也很鼓励他的推文。

"We've talked about many of these points with friends over the past few years, so I think she appreciated me sharing them in writing," he said.

“过去几年里我们跟朋友们谈了很多这些事，所以我想她肯定很开心我能够把它们写来分享，”他说道。

Thousands of people have reached out to him about the post, Gonder told us.

冈德尔告诉我们，成千上万的人们都在推文后留言联系他。

"Encouragingly, the most common comments have come from women tagging their male partners thanking them for being 'their rock.' I think this says something about a growing group of men today who have the courage and strength to think beyond their traditional male role toward how they can be a true 'family co-founder' with their wife," he said.

“令人鼓舞的是，最常见的评论就是女性们@了自己的老公，感谢他们像'岩石’一般可靠。我想，这就反映了如今有越来越多的男性都有勇气，有力量去突破传统男性角色，并努力跟他们的太太 一起成为家庭的'共同建立者’，”他说。

But there was a darker side to the comments too.

不过也有一些负面的评论。

"I think a lot of people also shared the post because they're outraged that so many women go through pregnancy, birth, and recovery totally alone when their male partners could be doing more," Gonder said.

“我想很多人之所以分享我的推文是因为他们感到很愤怒，看到如此多的女性得独自去经历怀孕，生孩子和产后恢复的过程，而她们的老公做得远远不够，”冈德尔说道。

"Many reflected on how a lack of supportive partner during this crucial phase planted seeds of resentment that ruined their relationship and family later."

“还有很多人反映说在这个过程中，对方没能支持自己种下了怨恨的种子并后来导致这段关系和家庭的破裂。”

While he wouldn't change anything about the post, Gonder has had some further thoughts he would add:

虽然冈德尔不打算修改推文了，他还是补充了一些进一步的想法：

"Initiate the conversation early about household roles -- breadwinner or homemaker or both," he said.

“要尽早开始谈论家庭角色--谁挣钱，谁做家务，又或者一起。”他说道。

"Take the pressure off your wife to explore what role each of you wants to play as you become parents. Relieve the topic's tension so it doesn't explode on you later. Push each other to think about a family vision, considering both of your desires equally, then work backward from that shared vision to plan how you'll manifest that reality together."

“要给太太减压，然后一起去探讨为人父母之后你们想要扮演什么样的角色。要减缓这个话题的压力以免日后造成引爆。要鼓励彼此思考家庭未来的样子，同等地考虑双方想要的，然后从这种共同的愿景出发去计划你们该如何一起把它变为现实。”

And finally, the 29-year-old dad said: "Don’t listen to people who say you’re ruining your life by having kids young."

在最后，这位29岁的爸爸说道：“别听那些人说的，什么早当爸毁一生这种话。”

问题

冈德尔的建议是写给谁的？

留言回复正确答案，前十名朋友可以获得红包奖励哦，赶快来试试吧！

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