如何用简洁的语言写好一篇英语议论文
侃哥:大家好,很多同学目前写作能力相对薄弱,但在平时练习的时候力图用长难词汇和复杂句型以期在语言上获得高分,实际上这种做法效果不好,甚至适得其反。为什么呢,因为“语言能力薄弱”和“用好难词长句”本来就是一对矛盾,这些词句已经超过了你的驾驭范围,试问如何能用得正确?更别说用得出彩了。希望大家心态上尽量放平,尽可能用初高中的简单词汇和最基本的语法句型,去论证你的观点、阐明你的理由。其实,真正得分高的同学,就是在“简洁”这个点上取胜的。
下面,我用昨天刚刚完成的一篇托福考试真题(2015.8.22)的范文,给大家做一个“简洁”文章的示范动作:
【题】Do you agree or disagree with the following statement: the most effective way for governments to encourage energy conservation is to increase the price of gasoline and electricity?(2015.8.22托福独立写作真题)
题型分类:结论题(绝对题)
论证角度:利弊分析
观点选择:让步
开头:不同意涨油费和电费是政府最好的鼓励节能的方式。(话题引入+他人观点+明确立场+过渡)
For a long time, worldwide governments seem to lack effective ways to encourage the public to conserve energy. The only feasible method they adopt is to put up the price of energy in order to force citizens to cut down on the use of it. But more and more people are beginning to doubt the effectiveness of this approach. In my opinion, increasing the price of energy is just a last resort that couldn’t solve the problem fundamentally. My reasons and examples are given below. (85 words)
put up the price:提高价格
cut down on:减少
the effectiveness of this approach:这个方法的有效性
a last resort:最后一招,万不得已的办法
中间段1:涨费用会激化官民矛盾。(主题句+说理论证+细节例子)
Firstly, the rise in the price of energy could intensify the conflict between the public and the government. Electricity and gasoline are the most widely used energy, concerning the basic livelihood of the rank and file. Thus, people are usually sensitive to the price of what they cannot live without. As the guardian of all social members, government is supposed to lessen people’s financial burden instead of doing something against public interests. I have read a piece of news that a few years ago, the ruling party of England increased the electricity fees, hoping to alleviate the power shortage, but this practice only aroused a strong backlash from society. (109 words)
intensify the conflict:激化矛盾
the most widely used...:最常用的...
the rank and file:老百姓
be sensitive to:对...敏感
lessen one's financial burden:减轻...的经济负担
power shortage:能源短缺
arouse a backlash:引起反弹
中间段2:对富裕的人来说无所谓,涨费不能从根本上解决节能问题。(主题句+说理论证+细节例子)
Secondly, for the well-off class, increasing the price of energy doesn’t make any difference. It is because government is unlikely to bring the price of energy to the point that even wealthy individuals cannot afford, so the practice is not able to genuinely strengthen all society’s awareness of energy conservation. Plus, it is those rich people who are big energy consumers. A good case in point is Al Gore, a former American vice president who has received a Nobel Peace Prize for his work in climate change activism. But a scandal shook his image as an environmental activist: he once squandered a great deal of resources on his daughter’s birthday party. (111 words)
doesn't make any difference:然并卵
bring...to the point that:把...带到一个...的程度
awareness of energy conservation:节能意识
environmental activist:环保斗士
让步段:当然,涨能源费用确实能增加民众浪费能源的成本,从而客观上起到全社会节能的效果。但是,这是一个治标而不治本的方法,而且会带来副作用。政府如果能有办法改变民众的意识,目标也能实现。(承认漏洞+堵漏)
Admittedly, I am not denying the function of a rise in the price of energy. After all, this method is indeed conducive to the energy conservation for the cost of people’s wasting energy is going up. However, increasing the price only reduces the symptom but cannot cure it. And it has a serious side effect--causing public anger. If government can do something smart to change people’s minds, and to let them come to realize the importance of energy conservation, the goal can still be achieved. (86 words)
be conducive to:有助于...
...only reduces the symptom but cannot cure it:治标不治本
side effect:副作用
come to realize:开始意识到
结尾:重申观点+归纳理由/升华主题
In conclusion, I am opposed to the idea of encouraging energy conservation by increasing the price of gasoline and electricity. In a more civilized and democratic society, government should try its best to safeguard people’s benefits rather than treat them by simple and crude ways. (45 words)
be opposed to:反对
by simple and crude ways:用简单和粗暴的方法
“路漫漫其修远兮,吾将上下而求索”。英语写作的提高是慢活儿,需要扎实的语法功底、中文到英文的思维转化,以及好词好句的积累和运用。侃哥致力于在这些方面给大家以指导和帮助。我的“精批服务”和“英语日课”就是旨在手把手带着大家写出地道优美的英语文章来。
【通知】侃哥精批服务刚刚推出业内首创“文字精批+语音讲解”模式,有需要的同学请联系我的私人微信:xiekanlaoshi
❤欢迎探索页面底部菜单❤