2021年八省联考读后续写下水文~

原题呈现

(2021年八省联考读后续写)

第二节 （满分25分）

阅读下面材料，根据其内容和所给段落开头语续写两段，使之构成一篇完整的短文。

During this past year, I’ve had three instances of car trouble. Each time these things happened, I was sick of the way most people hadn’t bothered to help. One of those times, I was on the side of the road for close to three hours with my big Jeep. I put signs in the windows, big signs that said NEED A JACK (千斤顶), and offered money. Nothing. Right as I was about to give up, a Mexican family in a small truck pulled over, and the father bounded out.

He sized up the situation and called for his daughter, who spoke English. He conveyed through her that he had a jack but that it was too small for the Jeep, so we would need something to support it. Then he got a saw (锯子) from the truck and cut a section out of a big log on the side of the road. We rolled it over and put his jack on top, and we were in business.

I started taking the wheel off, and then, if you can believe it, I broke his tire iron. No worries: He handed it to his wife, and she was gone in a flash down the road to buy a new tire iron. She was back in 15 minutes. We finished the job, and I was a very happy man.

The two of us were dirty and sweaty. His wife prepared a pot of water for us to wash our hands. I tried to put a $20 bill in the man’s hand, but he wouldn’t take it, so instead I went up to the truck and gave it to his wife as quietly as I could. I asked the little girl where they lived. Mexico, she said. They were in Oregon so Mommy and Daddy could work on a fruit farm for the next few weeks. Then they would go home.

注意：

1. 续写词数应为150左右；

2. 请按如下格式在答题卡的相应位置作答。

When I was about to say goodbye, the girl asked if I’d had lunch.

After they left, I got into my Jeep and opened the paper bag.

 飚记英语 孙三五

第一段：

When I was about to say goodbye, the girl asked if I'd had lunch. 

Not until then did I hear my stomach rumbling.

（句式：倒装。同时用到拟声词rumble说明我饿了，不直接说hungry）

I shrugged awkwardly.

（很短的一个动作，shrug，表示我的尴尬）

A smile of sympathy flickering across her face, she suddenly turned around and darted toward her truck.

（小女孩的同情，加上动作链来突出女孩的热情）

For split seconds, the girl turned up breathlessly, a paper bag held tightly in her hand.

（小女孩拿来一个纸袋，这里开始和第二段衔接。此处我简化了很多词，本来写了很多）

“Here you are. It will…do you good.” She stammered in broken English, grinning mysteriously.

（这里我抖了一个包袱：为什么她神秘笑？这也是为第二段铺垫，这里broken English照应文中他们是墨西哥人，mysteriously是包袱）

Maybe, it was her toy she didn’t need any longer.

（我的想法）

I waved to the family, seeing them walking across the street hand in hand.

（纯粹是为了衔接下一句）

第二段：

After they left, I got into my Jeep and opened the paper bag.

In sight came a hamburger and a 20-dollar bill, to which a note was attached.

（一般用倒装句来让一个东西出场，包袱解开）

It read, “I bought them with all my savings. Good luck.”

（不需要解释，本来我也是写了很多，字数限制，都简化掉了）

As if a bolt of lighting struck me, I gaped in gratitude and meanwhile felt a stab of guilt for my misunderstanding her goodwill.

（描写我的震惊。这种描写手法太多了，我用的是比喻，同时用gape动作）

I looked out of the window eagerly only to find their truck just alongside.

What a coincidence!

（无巧不成书！这是文学手法）

The little girl returned me a sweet smile, her tinkling laughter filling the air.

（这里我想刻画女孩的可爱，我脑子里想到：她在丛中笑。为了唤起一种艺术画面的美感，我用银铃笑声）

It was the first time I was not sick of my car trouble but lucky for seeing a beautiful heart.

（照应第一段，突出主题：美丽的心灵）

徐闻中学 李琳

【基础版】

When I was about to say goodbye, the girl asked if I’d had lunch. Hearing what she said, I realized that I didn’t have lunch. To be honest, after working hard for several hours, I was so hungry. Feeling a bit embarrassed, I replied: “no!” The girl said with a smile, “Come on! Join us. The sandwich made by my mum is delicious!” With moved tears rolling around my eyes, I took the sandwich. After eating it like a wolf, I felt that it was the most tasty sandwich that I had ever had. Seeing my looks, they all laughed. Then the girl’s mother placed another sandwich in a paper bag and handed it to me, saying gently: “Keep it and have it later! We had to go now.”

After they left, I got into my jeep and opened the paper bag. What surprised me a lot was that there was a sandwich and the bill given by me. Holding the paper bag tightly, I stood still, a warm current rising in my heart. How grateful I was to the family helping me. Although most people I met on the road were indifferent, there were still some people like this family who was so helpful and thoughtful. From then on, I placed a jack and some common tools in my car. When meeting people in need on the road, I would try my best to help them like the family. Only in this way, could more and more people help each other in the future.

【高阶版】

When I was about to say goodbye, the girl asked if I’d had lunch. It was then that I was aware that I didn’t have lunch. To be honest, after several hours’ hard work, my stomach was grunting with hunger. Somewhat embarrassed, I replied: “no!” the girl said with a smile, “Come on! Join us. The sandwich is my mother’s specialty.” With moved tears rolling around my eyes, I reached for the sandwich. After devouring it like a wolf, I felt that it was the tasty sandwich that I had ever had. Seeing my looks, they all burst out laughing. Then, the girl’s mother had another sandwich placed in a paper bag and handed it to me, saying gently : “Keep it and have it later! We have to go now.”

After they left, I got into my jeep and opened the paper bag. Inside the paper bag were an sandwich and the bill given by me. Grasping the paper bag, I was rooted to the spot, a warm current rising in my heart. How grateful I was to the family reaching out a helping hand to me. Indifferent as most of people I met on the road were, there were still some people like this family who were so helpful and considerate. From then on, I placed a jack and some common tools in my car. When meeting people in need on the road, I would spare no efforts to help them like the Mexican family. As the saying goes, “It is a blessing to get love from others and to care for others is a blessing.”

【陈晓君老师点评】

本文以人物为线索展开，讲述了去年作者汽车出现了三次故障，大多数人都懒得帮忙，作者对此感到很心厌。有一次，他的汽车又出故障了。他在路边求助了接近3个小时，但是没有人停下来帮忙。就在打算放弃的时候，一个过路的墨西哥家庭停下来，提供了帮助。从第1段续写的首句内容“就在我要说再见的时候，女孩问我是否吃过午饭了。”可知第一段可描写作者和墨西哥家庭一块儿吃午饭的过程。第二段首句内容“在他们离开后，我上了吉普车，打开纸袋。”显然，第二段描写作者在这一家人离开后，在纸袋里发现什么，以及自己的感受。两段续写线索是“吃午餐——交流——感谢——回家——发现东西——感悟”。按照原文及故事发展逻辑，纸袋里的东西包括作者悄悄放给这个家庭的主妇的20美元，既然这点是共性的，那么就得努力在“感悟”方面写出彩。李琳老师的两篇下水文语言表达流畅、地道，第1段主人公受邀与墨西哥家庭共进午餐的动作细节描写生动，角色对话浅显，符合人物身份与语言交际习惯。第2段着重描述主人公的感悟：将乐助精神以自身行动传递。高阶版以一哲言结束全文，发人深思，又回味无穷，这恰恰是新课标所要求的学生思维品质核心素养的生动展现。细细品味李琳老师的两篇下水文，可以感悟通过英语写作教学为载体，如何指导学生将语言知识转换为语言能力，如何培养及传递积极的文化意识和高阶思维品质，如何提高语言学习能力，那么我们的学生的英语学科核心素养就可以落地培养。

培力英语  张守初

When I was about to say goodbye, the girl asked if I'd had lunch. Over three hours' delay on the road made it impossible to lie otherwise, but I declined their invitation to have some food together with them, saying that my parents I was on my way to visit would be waiting too long. When the father handed back to me the $20 bill, I explained it was not meant as a reward for their help but to pay for the tire iorn I had broken. Seeing my firmness, the mother produced a paper bag and said inside it was a hamburger that I could eat while driving, which I could not but accept.

After they left, I got into my Jeep and opened the paper bag. To my surprise, along side with the hamburger, I found the $20 bill, which had somehow made its way into the bag. A light cool breeze was blowing against my burning face through the window of my jeep; I was so ashamed of myself. While I was waiting for help before I met the family, I hated this world, its people and the bad luck it had thrown at me. The cool wind of the fall had made me feel piercing cold. If you are patient enough, you can always find warmth out there. What matters is the confidence in human nature and the effort to spread warmth around.

梅州市梅州中学 高雁

      When I was about to say goodbye, the girl asked if I'd had lunch. At that moment, a weird sound came from my stomach, telling the family how awkward the last three hours I had been before they appeared. I was, indeed, extremely hungry and was a little embarrassed. 'Just wait!' the little girl stopped me. She headed to the truck and took out a paper bag. 'You'll like it!' She handed it to me. Then we waved goodbye with best wishes to each other.

After they left, I got into my Jeep and opened the paper bag. It's candy. I unwrapped one and put it into my mouth. So sweet was it that I felt a warm stream flowing in the depth of my heart. In the following 30 minutes, I drove with a big smile wearing on my face all the way. I ate up all the candy but kept the paper bag. It reminded me of the warmth from the Mexican family, and the candy had everlasting taste in my memory.

湛江市开发区一中 叶丽

When I was about to say goodbye the girl asked if I’d had any lunch. I laughed and said:  “I wish that I had—I’m feeling very hungry now.” “We have lots of food with us and were going to stop soon to have our lunch. Here is as good a place as anywhere to eat so please eat with us.” “That’s very generous of you. I’d love to accept your invitation,” I replied. We were soon sitting on a blanket next to the truck having a lovely picnic. When we had finished they put everything away, wished me luck with the rest of my journey, gave me a paper bag and set off.

After they left I got into my jeep and opened the paper bag. Inside I found some fresh fruit and the $20 bill. Now, instead of feeling irritated that people couldn’t be bothered to stop I was filled with a sense of appreciation of how thoughtful people could be. I decided that from then on I would always try to be thoughtful and helpful whenever I saw people in trouble.

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