19张照片让单身狗悲伤逆流成河，哪张戳中了你？

啊哈，又是一年情人节，就让小编我来陪陪一天没有出门的你们，然而今天的小编阳光下是段子手，阴影里是单身狗。ps：话说我是不是编辑部里唯一一只汪，才被老板派来值kan班men（不愤脸）不过，欢迎同样无聊的大家在后台勾搭小编😹😹😹。

三年不知肉味

You’ve basically forgotten how to do sexual innuendo.

看剧虐我千百遍，我待看剧如初恋。有朝一日得佳人，虐尽天下单身犬

Romantic comedies are neither romantic nor comedic to you.

有人跟你问个路，你都觉得他对你有意思

On the rare occasion you do get to meet some other available people, you come on a little too strong.

别人晚上出去泡吧，你晚上在家泡澡

Your idea of a night out is dramatically different from your friends in relationships.

从此买东西都有了不一样的体验

Your grocery shopping reflects your lifestyle a little bit too obviously.

一不小心就对影成三人

Group photos are never not awkward.

写出的文字都有种单身狗的芬芳，不信你来闻

Scholars could basically write their dissertations about how long you’ve been single.

室友负责出去约，我负责在家看门

You find amusing little ways to keep yourself occupied when all your friends are out on dates …

精神疯癫 自娱自乐

… like adding to your Snapchat Story …

世上只有爸爸好，没爸爸的我是条狗。

… or going to Canada with my dad.

嗯 狗粮真好吃

There’s a whole aisle at the grocery store that might as well have your name on it.

就连你的照相机都来嘲讽你

And even your possessions are starting to judge you.

从萌妹子进化成铁血真汉子

You’ve become a master at reaching other people’s expectations.

慢慢变面瘫脸

And you’ve made emotional unavailability into an artform.

男朋友是什么？还能有我的多肉植物好？

You’ve got more in common with succulents than you’d like to admit.

一腔柔情无处安放，一肚子废话没人诉说。

And even though there are some days when you’ve got yourself convinced you don’t need anyone …

每看一个男生都在用未来对象的标准评判

When someone comes along who seems like a keeper, you have no chill.

一个人出去吃饭 老板问我几个人，我说八个，另外七个在路上

You’ve tried faking it ‘til you make it …

麦当劳的第二支半价的甜筒自己跪着吃完

Two Macdonald ice cream at one time

情人节在家呆又没事干？回复[原作]看看奥斯卡最佳编剧的原作。

朋友圈被引力波刷屏，你却还不知道那是什么鬼？回复[引力波]看看爱因斯坦和引力波的故事。