姐妹们注意：识别背叛男的四个特征

本文选自《北外网院》的博客，

　　When you're dating a guy, you can forgive him for some indiscretions, but it's nearly impossible to turn the other cheek if he strays. Well, Cosmo did some investigating to ascertain the traits that may make men more likely to cheat, and some of our findings were surprising eye-openers。

　　约会的时候，你可以原谅男友的很多过错，但不太可能原谅他的四处留情。《时尚》杂志为此做了一些调查，确定了什么特征的男人容易背叛，其中的一些发现令人大开眼界。

　　Cheat Predictor #1 第一类特征：

　　Was he spoiled as a kid? 他是个惯坏的孩子吗？

　　Do his parents tend to baby him and help him out of financial jams?

　　他的父母一直宠着他，并且帮助他脱离经济困境吗？

　　Has he ever bragged about cheating on an exam or paying someone to write a paper for him in college?

　　他是不是吹嘘过自己考试是怎么作弊的，在大学里，他有没有付钱让别人帮他写论文？

　　If your man seems to have sailed through life without ever hitting the rough waters that rock the rest of us, beware. Privileged chaps tend to suffer from a sense of entitlement (read: bratty-boy syndrome)， so he may believe that the rules don't apply to him. He's so used to getting what he wants, why should he stop now?

　　如果你的伴侣一直顺风顺水，从来没有像我们普通人一样需要对付艰难的生活，那么你得小心了。备受关爱的孩子会产生特权感(坏孩子综合症)，他们相信规则对他们是不适用的。如果他一直都能得到自己想要的，那为什么他现在要停下来？

　　Pay attention to how he copes when he's confronted with any bad behavior on his part. Does he regret getting caught forwarding your racy emails to his friends but feel no guilt for doing it in the first place? Does he blame others when he screws up rather than take responsibility himself? If he can't see how his actions affect others, he's not likely to say, "Whoa, what about my girlfriend?" when temptation strikes。

　　你可以留心他是怎样对待自己的错误的。如果他将你发给他的情色信件转发给他人，他是后悔自己被发现呢还是觉得自己不该这样做？当他把事情办砸了，他是抱怨别人呢还是自己承担起责任？如果他看不到自己的行为对别人的影响，那么在他遇到诱惑的时候，他也不会对自己说，“哇，那我女朋友怎么办呢？”

　　Cheat Predictor #2  第二类特征：

　　Does he work mostly with women? 他大多数情况下与女性一起工作吗？

　　Is he always logging in late hours, whether it be at the office, at dinner with clients or on business trips? 他经常很晚才回来吗？他是在办公室，与客户用餐还是因公外出在路上？

　　Does he make a lot of money? 他挣很多钱吗？

　　Studies show that when men cheat, it's most often with a work colleague. Not only are people with similar interests side by side on a daily basis, but the time they spend together is usually when they're most energetic and look their best。

　　研究表明，男人欺骗伴侣的时候，大多数是在与同事发生亲密的关系。这不仅是因为他们兴趣接近，天天一起工作，而且还因为他们在一起的时候，一般来说是他们一天中最有活力和最好的时候。

　　Unfortunately, the bigger his wallet, the more likely your busy bee is to cozy up with an office buddy.  Evolution has wired men to understand that the better they are at providing, the more appealing they are to women. Since testosterone is what drives men's quest for power, if a guy has achieved status, he's more likely to act on his desires。

　　不幸的是，他的钱包越鼓，也就越容易像一只辛勤的蜜蜂，在办公室里传播花粉。进化的过程让男人理解，如果他们越能呼风唤雨，也就越能吸引女性。既然雄性激素驱使男人追求权力，那么一个达到一定地位的人，就更乐于按自己的欲望行事。

　　If he sounds happy that you call during the day, invites you to his office and takes you to company parties, you're most likely his one and only partner. It's when he acts more secretive about his work than a CIA agent that he's probably taking on after-hours clients。

　　如果他白天接到你的电话很开心，邀请你到他的办公室，带你参加他的同事聚会，那么你往往是他唯一的伴侣。如果他的行动比中央情报局的人还隐秘，那他可能在与非公务关系的女人交往。

　　Cheat Predictor #3 第三类特征：

　　Can he talk his way out of anything (parking tickets, rolling into work late)？ 他能够就任何话题风趣地扯淡吗？(比如停车单据，加班)

　　Does he make an effort to charm everyone--your coworkers, your older sister, a saleswoman? 他在尽力向每个人展现自己的魅力吗？——不管是你的同事、你的姐姐还是售货员？

　　When you go to parties, does he insist on making the rounds?

　　与你一起参加宴会，他坚持要跟你在一起多转转吗？

　　Charmers meet a lot of women and win them over easily. So even if his intentions aren't more than friendship, they might be willing to move beyond friendship, and that's hard to resist。

　　有魅力的男人会遇到很多女性，且容易赢得她们的好感。即使他并不想有超越友谊的关系，其他女人也许希望往前再走一步，而抵制诱惑却不是那么容易。

　　To determine if your charmer might become a two-timer, watch how he interacts with you in social settings. A guy who wants to play with other partners may brush you off when chatting with a new female friend or get noticeably more uncomfortable with PDAs when other women are around。

　　判断你的魅力情人是不是脚踏两只船，就观察他在社交环境中是怎么陪伴你的。这个家伙会在和陌生女人交谈时拂掉你挽着他的手，或者因为你的在场感到不自在。

　　Cheat Predictor #4 第四类特征

　　Does he usually hang out with a crew of mostly single guys? 他经常和一群单身的男性在一起吗？

　　Do his friends encourage him to join them in just-for-men activities? 他的同性朋友鼓励他参加只有男性的活动和聚会吗？

　　Do his pals have problems staying in relationships? 他的同性朋友在两性关系的处理上有问题吗？

　　A recent study of 37,000 men and women showed that when guys see those around them splitting from their significant others, it tends to encourage them to do the same。

　　最近一项超过三万七千人的研究表明，男性和女性看到自己身边的朋友纷纷与生命中有意义的异性分开，那么他们自己也会受到鼓励。

　　You want to believe that his buddies would have enough sense to stop your guy from canoodling with some cute club-hopper, but they won't always be on your side. If a coupled-up guy's friends are all looking to get lucky, they may not only tease him about being tied down but also actually dare him to cheat. At the very least, they'll cover for him。

　　你可能愿意相信，他的狐朋狗友有足够的理智阻止他与那些常常光顾夜店的女孩亲昵，不过他们往往不会站在你这一边。实际上他们会嘲笑挑逗、甚至鼓励他做这样的尝试。最坏的情况，他们也会为他打掩护。

　　Still, there's no need to ban him from hanging out with the bachelors if he's able to strike the right balance between his buddies and you. He should include you sometimes when he meets up with friends. Although your fella's frat pack might seem like the enemy, chumming it up with the guys (fake fondness if you have to) can do wonders for your relationship. Once you've earned their respect, they're much less likely to push your partner into prowling。

　　当然，如果你的爱人有足够的能力平衡你和他朋友之间的关系，禁止他与同性朋友的聚会，不是上选。有时候你俩应该想办法，共同参加这样的聚会。你男友的伙计们对你有些许敌意的，你得想办法破冰，在必要的情况下，哪怕假装与他们友善。一旦你赢得他们的尊重，他们不大可能将你的伴侣推到其他女人那里去。