《PP》第11课笔记整理——习惯
这节课的主要内容是关于习惯。而习惯对我们的生活有非常大的影响,甚至可以说我们的大多数行为都是被习惯支配的,这也是为什么优秀的人会越来越优秀,因为他们养成了不断学习的习惯,并从中获益,进而继续学习,继续获益,形成了良性循环。
而如何创造一个新的习惯呢,可能有很多的理论,但是最简单明了的方式就是:just do it.
jumping into the water, just doing it, taking action has the same effect as all the preparation, or even the better effect, and leads to an upward spiral.
当我们跳出舒适区,进入学习区的时候就会获取更多的知识,但切记不要进入恐慌区,因为那样会打消我们的积极性。比如你想开始一次讲座,那可以先从朋友开始,并从他们当中得到及时的反馈,然后再不断修正,最后可以面对更多的陌生人。
也有人说,我希望更加自律,然后开始各种各样有益的事情,比如跑步、练习瑜伽,但是我太懒了。
实际上自律在人体内是有限的,Tal讲了一个实验,如果一个人利用自律抵抗一些诱惑,接下来的表现往往欠佳。可以说每个人自律程度是天生的,既不增加也不减少,这听起来是一个坏消息,但是也有好消息,那就是我们可以利用仅有的自制力养成习惯,再利用习惯让我们变得更加优秀。
the good news: it’s actually not that important, neither for success, nor for happiness. you can be more successful and happier with the self-discipline that you current have. how? if you change your focus from relying on self-discipline for bringing about change to introducing rituals. changing your focus from self-discipline to rituals.
自制力的有限性也解释了为什么很多人完不成新年愿望,因为太贪了。
The key is to give yourself no more than one or two rituals each 30 days. Because it takes a lot of self-discipline to create a ritual and we don’t have much self-discipline, which is why when we have a list of 10 changes that we want to introduce in our lives today, we end up doing none. because we are over-extending our self-discipline and we break down.
那在养成习惯的时候有哪些需要注意的呢:
1. 具体的行为
2. 特定的时间
3. 有价值驱动
Jim Loehr and Tony Schwartz: Building rituals requires defining very precise behaviors and performing them at very specific times, motivated by deeply held values.
I have a ritual, three times a week, for 30 and 40 minutes, I run. After that, after that, do my stretching. I know how important yoga and meditation is for me, and I have a ritual and I do it. First thing when I wake up in the morning, a few deep breaths.
即使是有创造力的名人也有rituals,比如早晨7-10点写作,晚上6-10画画,当代的典范要属村上春树了,
他把写小说当成是人生的事业,一辈子的坚持,听从自己内心的声音。每天过着早睡早起的健康生活,一大早睁眼起床,到厨房里热一壶咖啡,倒进大大的马克杯里,钻进书房,端着杯子在书桌前坐下,打开电脑坚持写四五个钟头,每天大概写四千字左右,多了也不写。
而既然是习惯,我们就不能在特定的时间做其他事儿,接下来的就要交给时间了:
特定的时间+特定的动作+持续(比如一个月)=习惯
it takes a lot of discipline to start a ritual, but once we start it, after a month when it’s habituated, when it’s grooved in, when the neural pathway has begun to form, then we can move onto the next ritual and introduce it, if we are ready. no more than two. ideally one ritual.
接着这节课又强调了认知(C cognition)的重要性,同样的事情在不同人眼中会形成不同的认知和结果,比如课堂中举的一对双胞胎例子,两个双胞胎小时候生活在一个家庭,父亲经常对母亲使用暴力,家庭关系非常差,当这对双胞胎长大后,其中一个延续了父亲的暴力,而另一个则让自己的家庭充满温馨,他们对调查者说了同样的话,大意是,面对那样的父亲,你能让我怎么办。不同的理解方式,形成了最终不同的生活方式。
而面对生活中存在的种种,我们倒是可以把挫折视为挑战,把情侣关系中的矛盾也可以视为值得改进的好契机。
课程的最后Tal教授强调了休息的重要性。休息的时候虽然双手停止了工作,但大脑还在运行,利用停止手头工作的时机,大脑可以创造出很多非凡的想法,为今后的学习和工作带来更多的益处。
J.P.Morgan: “I can do a year’s work in nine months, but not in twelve.”
Joseph Campbell: you must have a room, or a certain hour or so a day, when you don’t know what was in the newspapers that morning, you don’t know who your friends are, you don’t know what you owe anybody, you don’t know what anybody owes you, this is a place where you can simply experience and bring forth what you are and what you might be. This is the place of creative incubation. At first, you may find that nothing happens there, but if you have such a sacred place and use it, something eventually will happen.