638次刺杀卡斯特罗，简直把我笑喷
Monday
638次刺杀卡斯特罗，简直把我笑喷
法比安·艾斯卡兰特将军在经过一番盘点之后，得出这一个数字。这个数字是古巴前领导人菲德尔·卡斯特罗(Fidel Castro)躲过美国中情局(CIA)的暗杀行动的次数。卡斯特罗自己说，如果奥运会设置一项躲避暗杀的项目，那他肯定是得金牌，而且，是纪录保持者，并且，这纪录几乎没有可能被打破。
卡斯特罗到底开了什么挂，这么难杀死？
我们来盘点一下
#1 Toxic Diving Suit & Exploding Sea Shell
有毒的潜水服和贝壳炸弹
微信编辑器 构思编辑器
微信编辑器 构思编辑器
This plan was to exploit his love of scuba-diving and place a bomb in an unusual looking shell, put it on the sea floor and trigger a fatal explosion when he swam near to investigate it. This plan was later aborted for being impractical. Another plot was to contaminate a wetsuit with tuberculosis bacilli triggering a deadly skin disease. The plan went awry when the lawyer who was supposed to give him the suit decided to give him a non-lethal suit instead.
计划是为了利用他对潜水的热爱，准备一个比较奇怪的贝壳，然后放到海床上。如果他游近去拿这个贝壳，就会触发炸弹，产生威力惊人的爆炸。之后这个计划因为太不切实际被取消了。另外一个计划是在潜水服上面，涂上可以感染致命皮肤病的结核杆菌。但这计划也因为本来要给他这件潜水服的律师决定了给他另外一件普通的潜水服而失败了。
Scott: 作为领导人，还真是越是不寻常的东西越要离得远远的。
#2 Poisoned Milkshake
毒奶昔
微信编辑器 构思编辑器
微信编辑器 构思编辑器
According to Escalante, this was the closest the CIA came to success. This 1963 attempt saw a poison pill successfully delivered to the Havana Libre Hotel, but then the plan went awry when the pill stuck to the freezer and the waiter/assassin was unable to remove it and slip it into his milkshake.
根据Escalante所说，这是CIA(中情局)差点成功的一次。这个1963年的行动，当时已经成功将毒药丸送到了哈瓦那自由酒店，但是因为这个毒药丸粘在了冰箱里，这个服务员/刺客没法将其拿出来并放到奶昔里面，最终以失败告终。
Scott：话说，这个药丸当时没有东西包着的么，直接裸着放冰箱里？？？
#3 Cold Cream
冷霜(搽脸的)
微信编辑器 构思编辑器
微信编辑器 构思编辑器
Castro’s ex-lover Maria Lorenz claims that she agreed to smuggle a jar of cold cream concealing poison into his room for the CIA. She says that Castro uncovered the plot and pulled out his gun. She reported it like this: “I thought he was going to shoot me, but he gave me the gun and asked, ‘Did you come to kill me?’ Then he took a puff on his cigar and closed his eyes. He made himself vulnerable because he knew I couldn’t do it. He still loved me and I still loved him.”
卡斯特罗的前爱人Maria Lorenz声称，她同意了CIA要将一个带毒的冷霜放到卡斯特罗的房间里面。她说卡斯特罗识穿了这个计划并且掏出了枪。她这样说的：“我以为他会朝我开枪，但是他把枪给我，然后问，‘你是来杀我的？’然后他吐了一口雪茄的烟，然后闭上眼。他让他自己处在非常容易受攻击的状态因为他知道我下不了手。他仍然爱我，我也仍然爱他。”
Scott：我在想当初Maria为何答应CIA来办这个，她是缓兵之计？
#4 Exploding Cigar
雪茄炸弹
微信编辑器 构思编辑器
微信编辑器 构思编辑器
On November 4, 1967 the Saturday Evening Post reported that during Castro’s visit to the UN a CIA agent had asked a New York City police inspector Michael J. Murphy to get Castro to smoke an exploding cigar. An earlier plan was to poison his cigars. This plan was to recruit a Cuban in Castro’s entourage to introduce the poisoned smokes. The CIA’s Technical Services Division got so far as injecting toxin into his cigars but the poisoner was fired before the plot could unfold.
1967年10月4日，《周六晚邮报》报道了在卡斯特去访问联合国期间，一个CIA特工一个纽约的检察官Michael J. Murphy给卡斯特罗安排一个炸弹雪茄来抽。原本的计划是在雪茄上面涂毒，然后招募一个卡斯特罗的随从在他抽烟的时候下毒。CIA技术部已经完成了把毒注入到了雪茄里面，但是这个刺杀也因为下毒者在执行计划前被开除而泡汤了。
Scott：在美好的社会主义下，卡斯特罗的随从怎么可能被收买呢？...你懂的
#5 Thallium To Make His Hair Fall Out
用铊来让他掉发
微信编辑器 构思编辑器
微信编辑器 构思编辑器
In this plan from 1960, the CIA planned to put thallium salts into his shoes. Thallium salts are a powerful depilatory and so the aim was that it would make all his hair fall out leaving him completely bald, unrecognizable and powerless when he arrived in New York to speak at the United Nations.
从1960年开始，CIA就开始把铊盐放到他的鞋里。铊是一个很强的脱毛剂，目标是为了让卡斯特罗全秃，让他在纽约联合国讲话的时候大家不好辨认他，让他的发言失去力量。
Scott：.......这，为了让卡斯特罗讲的话失去力量，看得出CIA也是拼了。
#6 Ballpoint Pen
圆珠笔
微信编辑器 构思编辑器
微信编辑器 构思编辑器
In 1963, an undercover CIA agent was given a pen-syringe in Paris, but this plan too, failed. Rolando Cubela was told to use Blackleaf 40 poison. He was arrested and imprisoned for this plot, and it was later reported (although unconfirmed) that Castro had sent him books to read while he was in prison.
1963年巴黎，一支注射器圆珠笔给了一个CIA卧底特工，这个计划也是，失败了。Rolando Cuela被安排用Blackleaf40毒药。他被捕并为此坐牢。之后据报道(虽然没有证实)卡斯特罗还在他坐牢期间，给他送书看。
#7 LSD
麦角酸二乙基酰胺（简称LSD，最下方有科普）
微信编辑器 构思编辑器
微信编辑器 构思编辑器
This plot was intended to disorient and embarrass Castro by giving him an unwitting LSD tripduring a radio broadcast. The plan was to lace his cigars and the studio with the substance. The aim was to provoke such bizarre behaviour that people would cease to trust him. Despite some claims to have seen footage, it seems this plot did not transpire either.
这个计划本来是为了迷惑卡斯特罗，让他在广播的时候，受到LSD的影响而出洋相。计划是在他的雪茄和录音棚里面布置LSD。目的是为了让他有反常的行为，好让人们停止对他的信任。尽管有人声称有一些（广播）的脚本，不过这计划也是失败了。
拓 展
科普一下，LSD是一种能改变心情的药。可以用来制造冰毒。服用者会感觉与现实锻联系，LSD的服用者会把他们吸食LSD的经历叫做“LSD trip”，一个“trip”通常会持续12小时左右。如果坏事发生了（一般都是坏事发生），他们就叫这个“bad trip”。
微信编辑器 构思编辑器
微信编辑器 构思编辑器
英音美音可以同时切换，对语音有非常尖锐的耳朵和灵活的舌头，能从中国人的角度，教你怎么把英语说地道，可以用西班牙语进行一般交流。20岁做工程师，环绕地球三圈。公众号：ScottsEnglish