最好的essay，不过是真实的讲出自己的故事 || 内付福利

怎么写出与众不同的essay？你是不是要听从各方的建议写一篇中规中矩的essay开启你的大学呢？当然不要。我们的essay要写就要最出色出彩。华盛顿邮报的自身教育编辑采访了耶鲁大学毕业的专业大学essay 写作导师，列举了不少考入名校的学生essay，告诉你，最好的方法就是写出你自己的故事。

我们整理了下文提到的优质essay实例分享给TD的读者们，找任意马甲并发送暗号“essay说人话”领取，如果你还没有加过任意马甲，请添加我们的舒克（微信号：testdaily888）领取。

当Carol Barash给我们讲她的故事的时候，她甚至说话听起来都像是在写一篇申请的essay。她告诉了记者她的故事：

在父亲去世之前，他曾经告诉我，现在教育已经和原来大有不同了，教育不再将女性、犹太人、贫穷的家庭拒之门外了。那时的我只有15岁，完全没有意识到那将是父亲和我之间的最后一次对话。“你可以到达你想去的所有的地方。”父亲告诉我。

她申请了耶鲁大学。所有老师都告诉她她绝对没有可能考取耶鲁大学。然而她考上了。“那感觉简直像是奇迹发生了。”她说。从那之后，她不再是那个住在宾夕法尼亚的小女孩，而是成为了那个她父亲说的：可以走到任何一个地方去，可以成为任何人。

现在她凭借自己的经历教授学生如何写作自己的申请essay，她成立的公司Story2被第一夫人米歇尔奥巴马在社交网站上推荐给学生作为“Better Make Room”项目之一，鼓励学生申请大学。

什么样的essay才算好？

招生官说，大部分的申请essay并不突出，有很多甚至是太糟糕了以致于让人记忆深刻。当然，也有很多的essay非常的出色，会在根本上改变学生的录取几率，或者让他们得到奖学金。

当招生官读不同的学生的essay的时候，他们是在试图了解这个学生有什么样的性格。而对于很多过度打磨的essay，招生官在阅读的时候反而会觉得无法真实了解这个学生的性格和属于青少年的声音。“我们想要的是真实的、有思想的能够反映出青少年的文章。告诉我们你的性格是什么样的，以及你自己的声音。”

弗吉尼亚大学招生官JeannineLalonde说，在写作的时候不要禁锢于那些所谓的“标准格式”，要用自己的写作风格，带领读者找到那个真实而独特的你自己。大部分人会被别人的真实的经历而触动，这是我们和别人简历联系的过程。

而良好的写作并不是朝夕就可以做到的，你需要花很多的时间想清楚你是一个什么样的人，以及你希望在你的文章里如何呈现自己。

下面是在Barash指导下写的很多的essay文章，这些学生都通过这些essay成功考上了自己心仪的大学。

（由于文章过长，小编给大家整理成了pdf格式，请在后台回复  [  申请示例  ]领取）

Abdullah Al-Obaidi

埃默里大学2020级

“Stay away from the windows!” my first-grade teacher shouted as the school quivered from the first explosion. Darkness engulfed the sky. Moments later, the windows shattered into a million crystal-like shards. I was the target.

The life of an Iraqi refugee family is hard, but the grueling challenges I faced have been my teachers. I have learned to make friends quickly and to find opportunities to grow. I had two options: to interrogate the universe about why I was put in such situations, or adjust accordingly and aspire to greatness.

Sarah Sutto-Plunz

史密斯学院2017级

New York City, 9 p.m. Friends are laughing in the next room squeezed around the dinner table, as I try to whip something up. I put the water to boil, adding salt. As I wait, the steam begins to twist, to twirl, filling up the kitchen. I pause to wipe the sweat from my brow.

At eight o’clock in the morning my shirt is already moist. Sweat rolls down my face, every inch of my body. A typical morning in Perugia.

Sauté the garlic in olive oil on medium heat.

The gravel in the driveway crunches and crackles, “E’ arrivato zio Mario!”

I run barefoot, almost tripping down the stairs, all the way to his car, arms outstretched. His hair, grayer this year, falls over his tanned face. His hands rest on his belt, one finger cut off above the joint. I pull on my boots and he climbs onto the tractor. He hauls me onto his lap holding me tightly.

Yingbin Mei

汉密尔顿大学2016级

In the maze-like middle school, my shadow was my only companion.

My heart raced one hundred times a second whenever my English teacher turned her head around to call on students. Once, my luck vaporized and my teacher picked me. My face metamorphosed into a ripe tomato. I cleared my throat, attempting to compose my words. I started to speak but invisible walls made me stutter over and over. For many days, my classmates snickered as they walked past me.

One day, I found a 2-dimension online role-playing game named QQ Three Kingdoms. While listening to the classical Chinese music in the game, I chatted with other players about my solitude and failure in America. With their assistance, I soon reached a high level in the game.

Kenny Lee

康奈尔大学2017级

“Vote Paul Lee for District Leader!” My face brightened as morning commuters passed by and took flyers from my hand.

As they turned the corner, they carelessly tossed the flyers away. My brows furrowed. Is this what I woke up at seven in the morning for? To hand out flyers to indifferent strangers who won’t give the time of day, nevertheless a second glance? I was just a background character, a boy handing out flyers in the scene of a lively street. I was a mannequin, easily passed by unnoticed.

After my flyer shift had ended, my boss took me out to lunch at a diner. My eyes were darting back and forth, unsure of the situation. My boss slouched casually in his seat across from me. I had only met him twice before and instinctively, I began surreptitiously examining him. I slyly lowered my menu and peered over the “wall.”

Joel Burt-Miller

布兰迪斯大学2016级

I want to be a light in the darkness; someone who stands out against the “norm”. I want to be the difference maker, who stands up for change. I understand that change takes one step at a time, but it’s up to everyone to make a first step of his own.

My older brother, Shane did, which showed me that I could too.

I remember on one dark winter day, Shane had been attacked by a rival gang. A few weeks later, we went on a retreat with our church. While on this retreat, we visited the beach and started a bright campfire. As we gazed upon the fire all we heard was our youth pastor’s voice saying, “Tonight’s the night of change, tonight’s the night to let burdens go.” He told us to write our struggles down on a piece of paper, and when we felt ready we were to throw it into the fire.