Strong Baby Wang: Going through a tricky divorce
Monday
Going through a tricky divorce would be enough to put anyone off marriage for life.
经历一场离婚的浩劫足以让人想从此远离婚姻。
8月14日凌晨,演员王宝强在微博发布离婚声明,声明中称,离婚原因是妻子马蓉与王宝强经纪人宋喆发生婚外不正当两性关系。对此,王宝强的妻子马蓉尚未回应。
I'd rather die than believe in love.
我再也不相信爱情了!
When we get involved in a long term relationship we make certain promises, promises of fidelity to our partner. Successful relationships are founded on bonds of mutual trust and this is reinforced by the mutual fidelity we come to expect from our long term partners. These expectations are even move ingrained in relationships which are solemnized in marriage. While many people these days choose to write their own vows the old ones explain perfectly the expectations we have of our spouses–that they will stick with us for better or worse, richer for poorer, in sickness and in health till death do the couple part. These vows may be rooted in the Christian tradition of marriage but strikingly similar promises are made in civil and religious services around the world.
当我们进入一段长期恋爱关系时,我们会做出承诺,承诺对对方忠诚。成功的亲密关系建立在互相信任的的基础上,并因希望彼此忠诚这一期待得到巩固。这种期待天然就是婚姻的一部分。尽管现在许多人选择自己写誓词,但传统誓词恰恰表达了我们对伴侣的希望——无论逆境与顺境,无论贫穷或富有,无论健康或疾病,相爱相敬不离不弃,直到死亡把我们分开。这一誓词可能来源于基督教婚姻传统,但纵观世界不同宗教与文化的誓词,都与其有着惊人的相似之处。
Why then do some people choose to betray promises they make to their spouse or partner, the children they have together and, implicitly, to society at large. The statistics are mindboggling–up to 50% of women and 60% of men will cheat on their spouse. The reasons are as varied as the different personalities of people around the globe, there is no one size fits all explanation.
那为什么有些人选择背叛他们的诺言——不仅是对他们伴侣,也是对孩子,甚至从大方面来讲对社会。数据显示,高达50%的女性与60%的男性会出轨——这已大大超乎一般人的想象。背后的原因多种多样,没有哪一种能一下子解决所有问题。
Studies from around the world have reported that men are more jealous of sexual infidelity than emotional infidelity. And women are the opposite—they're more jealous of emotional cheating than sexual cheating. Experts often lean on an evolutionary cause for this gender difference: men can never be sure they are the baby-daddy and women are most concerned with securing a genuinely loyal father to care for the children.
全世界专家的研究都已经表明:在身体出轨和精神出轨上,男性更不能忍受前者,而女性则更注重后者。对于这种由于性别导致的差异,专家们都倾向于用人类进化的理论来进行解释——男性从来都对自己是否是孩子的亲生爸爸持怀疑态度,女性则天然的不必有这方面的担心,她更在乎的是这个男人是否全心全意地对待这个孩子。
Well authors of a recent study in Psychological Science question the strength of the evolutionary just-so theory—realizing that there are men who find emotional cheating far worse than sexual cheating. The study reports that personality patterns, shaped by one's relationship history, can have an impact on jealousy.
然而,《心理科学》杂志最近刊发的一项研究中,却有专家对这种进化理论提出了质疑,根据他们的研究,相对于身体出轨,有很多男性更加在乎的却是精神上的不忠。这项研究指出人们不同的恋爱经历和态度将会塑造不同的性格特点,而不同的性格对这个问题的反应也会有所不同。
Over four hundred participants took a survey to measure their jealousy type, meaning which troubles them more: sexual or emotional fidelity. Then they completed a test which specifically measures attachment style in relationships (those styles include: secure, fearful, preoccupied, and dismissing.)
400多名志愿者参与了这项研究,在精神和身体这两种选择面前,测试他们到底属于哪一种类型,到底哪一种更为困扰他们——然后,专家让他们完成一个测试,专门用以分析他们在恋爱关系中更接近哪一种类型:安全型、惧怕型、投入型还是退却型。
And they found that 65% of those who are autonomous and tend to be dismissive about commitment reported greater stress about sexual cheating than emotional cheating. And 77% of those who are more securely attached and committed in relationships found emotional betrayal to be worse than sexual duplicity.
根据上述两项测试结果,专家得出下面的数据:65%的一类男性(他们在恋爱关系中崇尚个人自由,并排斥做出承诺)更不能接受身体上的出轨;而在另一类中(具有安全稳定的恋爱关系并且已经做出承诺),有77%的人认为精神上的出轨让他们更难以接受。
Even within each sex the results were striking. Dismissive women were four times more likely to report greater sexual jealousy than securely committed women. And dismissive men were 50 times more likely to report sexual jealousy than securely committed men.
即使处于同一种类型的恋爱关系,男性和女性的反应程度也是惊人的不同——退却型女性在乎身体出轨的程度比专注型女性高4倍;同样是退却型男性和专注型男性,这个数字却达到了惊人的50倍.
So the authors warn: sex differences in jealousy are much more nuanced than a evolutionary explanation might imply.
因此,这项研究的专家警告说:进化论的理论,远远不能准确地解释不同性别在对待出轨问题上那些细微的态度差别。
Oh love, never shall I believe in thee!
我再也不相信爱情之莎翁版。
(thee,古英语,第二人称单数宾格形式)
Which do you think is the happiest star couple?
本文内容部分来自可可英语、百度。
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《了不起的盖茨比》问世,奠定了弗·司各特·菲茨杰拉德在现代美国文学史上的地位,成了20年代"爵士时代"的发言人和"迷惘的一代"的代表作家之一。20世纪末,美国学术界权威在百年英语文学长河中选出一百部最优秀的小说,《了不起的盖茨比》高居第二位,傲然跻身当代经典行列。
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