停不下来的买买买、刷抖音、玩游戏…这个TED演讲揭秘：你为何对伤害自己的事物上瘾？
从可卡因到美食再到花花网络，现在令我们上瘾的东西真的越来越多了，大家也逐渐把这些“上瘾源”称为“垃圾快乐”。但是，我们怎样才能克服它呢？
在现实生活中，同样存在着很多类似的“成瘾”现象，只是没有被足够察觉：刷视频、打游戏、过线上生活，我们沉溺其中，难以停止，却并不快乐。
这个TED演讲便试图探讨现代生活中那些让我们“停不下来”的现象——如果“成瘾”渗透了生活，我们还能够支配自己的人生吗？
演讲者Johann Hari亲眼目睹了亲人们努力戒掉毒瘾的过程，他开始反思，也许成瘾最大的原因，不是源于脆弱的内心，而恰恰是来自于我们周围冷漠的环境，这不是简单地靠自律或者自虐式戒瘾就可以摆脱得了的。
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One of my earliest memories is of trying to wake up one of my relatives and not being able to. And I was just a little kid, so I didn t really understand why, but as I got older, I realized we had drug addiction in my family, including later cocaine addiction.
我早年间的一个回忆就是试图去叫醒一个亲戚，但却叫不醒他。我当时只是一个小孩，所以我不明白为什么，但随着年龄的增长，我意识到家里有人XD上瘾了，包括后来的可卡因瘾。
I d been thinking about it a lot lately, partly because it s now exactly 100 years since drugs were first banned in the United States and Britain, and we then imposed that on the rest of the world. It s a century since we made this really fateful decision to take addicts and punish them and make them suffer, because we believed that would deter them;
我最近一直在想这件事，部分原因是现在距离美国和英国首次禁止DP已经整整100年了，然后我们也将这一项禁令推广到了全世界。我们做这一项生死攸关的决定已经有一个世纪了，让瘾君子受到惩罚，让他们受苦，因为我们相信这会阻止他们；
it would give them an incentive to stop. And a few years ago, I was looking at some of the addicts in my life who I love, and trying to figure out if there was some way to help them. And I realized there were loads of incredibly basic questions I just didn t know the answer to, like, what really causes addiction? Why do we carry on with this approach that doesn t seem to be working, and is there a better way out there that we could try instead?
这会激励他们停止XD。几年前，我看着那些在我身边的至亲，饱受毒瘾困扰，我想知道是否有办法帮助他们。我意识到有许多难以置信的问题，我不知道如何回答。比如，是什么导致上瘾？为什么我们要继续采取这种似乎行不通的做法，还有没有更好的办法可以取而代之呢？
So I read loads of stuff about it, and I couldn t really find the answers I was looking for, so I thought, okay, I ll go and sit with different people around the world who lived this and studied this and talk to them and see if I could learn from them. And I didn t realize I would end up going over 30,000 miles at the start, but I ended up going and meeting loads of different people, from a transgender crack dealer in Brownsville, Brooklyn, to a scientist who spends a lot of time feeding hallucinogens to mongooses to see if they like them --
所以我读了很多关于它的资料，然而却无法找到我想要的答案，所以我想，好吧，那就去见见那些世界上各种以此为生的人和研究这些问题的专家，和他们聊聊看是否能够从他们中找到答案。我一开始没想到自己最后竟然一走就是30,000多英里，但最终我遇到了很多不同的人，从布鲁克林布朗斯维尔的一个变性人DF，到一个花了很多时间给猫鼬喂食迷幻药的科学家，看它们是否对此感兴趣——
it turns out they do, but only in very specific circumstances -- to the only country that s ever decriminalized all drugs, from cannabis to crack, Portugal. And the thing I realized that really blew my mind is, almost everything we think we know about addiction is wrong, and if we start to absorb the new evidence about addiction, I think we re going to have to change a lot more than our drug policies.
结果是它们确实对此感兴趣，但只有在非常特殊的情况下，葡萄牙是唯一一个将所有DP从大麻到DP都合法化的国家。而真正让我震惊的是，几乎所有我们认为我们知道的关于上瘾的事情都是错误的，如果我们开始挖掘关于上瘾的新证据，我认为我们得改变包括DP政策在内的许多东西。
But let s start with what we think we know, what I thought I knew. Let s think about this middle row here. Imagine all of you, for 20 days now, went off and used heroin three times a day. Some of you look a little more enthusiastic than others at this prospect. (Laughter) Don t worry, it s just a thought experiment. Imagine you did that, right? What would happen?
但让我们先从我们认识的，我之前所以为的开始。让我们想想这中间一排。想象你们从今天开始的20天，每天吸食海洛因三次。有些人听到这看起来比较兴奋啊。别担心，这只是一个假想试验。想象你那样做了，对吧？会发生什么？
Now, we have a story about what would happen that we ve been told for a century. We think, because there are chemical hooks in heroin, as you took it for a while, your body would become dependent on those hooks, you d start to physically need them, and at the end of those 20 days, you d all be heroin addicts. Right? That s what I thought.
这样的后果——过去的一百年我们都是如此被告知的。我们认为，因为海洛因中有化学致瘾剂，当你服用一段时间后，你的身体就会对它形成依赖，你开始从生理上需要它，在这20天结束时，你们所有人都会海洛因上瘾。对吗？我过去也是这么想的。
First thing that alerted me to the fact that something s not right with this story is when it was explained to me. If I step out of this TED Talk today and I get hit by a car and I break my hip, I ll be taken to hospital and I ll be given loads of diamorphine. Diamorphine is heroin. It s actually much better heroin than you re going to buy on the streets, because the stuff you buy from a drug dealer is contaminated.
让我警醒的第一件事是，我们过去一直认为的后果其实是错误的。如果我今天离开这个TED演讲，被车撞到，摔断了臀部，我会被送到医院，然后给我注射大量的二吗啡。二吗啡是海洛因。实际上海洛因比你在街上买的要好得多，因为你从DF那里买的东西被污染了。
Actually, very little of it is heroin, whereas the stuff you get from the doctor is medically pure. And you ll be given it for quite a long period of time. There are loads of people in this room, you may not realize it, you ve taken quite a lot of heroin. And anyone who is watching this anywhere in the world, this is happening.
实际上，只有一小部分是海洛因，而你从医生那里得到的东西在医学上是纯的。而且你还需要用上很长一段时间。这个房间里有很多人，你可能没有意识到，你吸食了很多海洛因。屏幕前面的各位也是一样，这已经发生了。
And if what we believe about addiction is right -- those people are exposed to all those chemical hooks -- What should happen? They should become addicts. This has been studied really carefully. It doesn t happen; you will have noticed if your grandmother had a hip replacement, she didn t come out as a junkie. (Laughter
如果我们对上瘾的看法是正确的——那些人都暴露在化学致瘾剂前——那会发生什么呢？他们应该成为瘾君子。这项研究非常谨慎，你可能意识不到，当你的祖母换了一个髋关节后就成为了瘾君子。
And when I learned this, it seemed so weird to me, so contrary to everything I d been told, everything I thought I knew, I just thought it couldn t be right, until I met a man called Bruce Alexander. He s a professor of psychology in Vancouver who carried out an incredible experiment I think really helps us to understand this issue. Professor Alexander explained to me, the idea of addiction we ve all got in our heads, that story, comes partly from a series of experiments that were done earlier in the 20th century.
当我知道这件事的时候，我觉得很奇怪，所以和别人告诉我的相反，我认为我知道的一切，我只是觉得这不可能是对的，直到我遇到一个叫布鲁斯·亚历山大的人。他是温哥华的一位心理学教授，进行了一项令人难以置信的实验，我认为这真的有助于我们理解这个问题。亚历山大教授向我解释说，我们脑子里都有上瘾的想法，这个故事，部分来自20世纪早期的一系列实验。
They re really simple. You can do them tonight at home if you feel a little sadistic. You get a rat and you put it in a cage, and you give it two water bottles: One is just water, and the other is water laced with either heroin or cocaine. If you do that, the rat will almost always prefer the drug water and almost always kill itself quite quickly. So there you go, right? That s how we think it works. In the 70s, Professor Alexander comes along and he looks at this experiment and he noticed something.
他们真的很简单。如果你觉得有点虐待狂，今晚你可以在家里试试看。你把一只老鼠放进笼子里，给它两瓶水：一瓶是水，另一瓶是掺有海洛因或可卡因的水。如果你这样做，老鼠几乎总是喜欢药水，而且几乎总是很快自杀。你们是这么想的，对吧？没错，我们就是这么认为的。在70年代，亚历山大教授出现了，他看着这个实验，发现了一些东西。
He said ah, we re putting the rat in an empty cage. It s got nothing to do except use these drugs. Let s try something different. So Professor Alexander built a cage that he called 'Rat Park,' which is basically heaven for rats. They ve got loads of cheese, they ve got loads of colored balls, they ve got loads of tunnels. Crucially, they ve got loads of friends.
他说啊，我们把老鼠关在一个空笼子里。除了用这些药没什么关系。让我们试试别的。所以亚历山大教授建造了一个笼子，他称之为“老鼠公园”，这基本上是老鼠的天堂。他们有很多奶酪，有很多彩球，有很多隧道。最重要的是，他们有很多朋友。
They can have loads of sex. And they ve got both the water bottles, the normal water and the drugged water. But here s the fascinating thing: In Rat Park, they don t like the drug water. They almost never use it. None of them ever use it compulsively. None of them ever overdose. You go from almost 100 percent overdose when they re isolated to zero percent overdose when they have happy and connected lives.
方便交配。它们也有两个杯子，装着普通的水和有DP的水。但有趣的是：在老鼠公园，它们并不喜欢有DP的水。它们基本上不喝。它们中没有出现不得不喝的老鼠，也没有过量服用的。当他们被隔离时，百分之百的都过量服用了DP，而当它们过着开心并与外界交往的生活时，服用DP的比例是零。
Now, when he first saw this, Professor Alexander thought, maybe this is just a thing about rats, they re quite different to us. Maybe not as different as we d like, but, you know -- But fortunately, there was a human experiment into the exact same principle happening at the exact same time. It was called the Vietnam War.
现在，当他第一次看到这个现象的时候，亚历山大教授想，也许这个只是老鼠的情况，它们和我们很不一样。也许与我们想象的不同，但是，你知道——恰好，有一个人类实验，基于同样的原理在同一时间发生了。它被称为越战。
In Vietnam, 20 percent of all American troops were using loads of heroin, and if you look at the news reports from the time, they were really worried, because they thought, my God, we re going to have hundreds of thousands of junkies on the streets of the United States when the war ends; it made total sense. Now, those soldiers who were using loads of heroin were followed home.
在越南，20%的美军使用大量海洛因，如果你看看当时的新闻报道，他们真的很担心，因为他们认为，天哪，当战争结束时，我们会有成千上万的瘾君子在美国的大街上；这完全可能发生。现在，那些使用大量海洛因的士兵回家之后被继续跟踪。
The Archives of General Psychiatry did a really detailed study, and what happened to them? It turns out they didn t go to rehab. They didn t go into withdrawal. Ninety-five percent of them just stopped. Now, if you believe the story about chemical hooks, that makes absolutely no sense, but Professor Alexander began to think there might be a different story about addiction. He said, what if addiction isn t about your chemical hooks? What if addiction is about your cage? What if addiction is an adaptation to your environment?
《普通精神病学档案》做了一个非常详细的研究，结果怎么样？结果他们没有去戒毒所。他们也没有特意去戒掉毒瘾。95%的人就停止XD了。现在，如果你相信化学制瘾的解释，这根本讲不通，但是亚历山大教授开始认为，也许上瘾可以有另一种解释。他说，如果上瘾与化学制瘾物无关呢？如果上瘾是因为你的笼子呢？如果上瘾其实是一种对环境的适应呢？
Looking at this, there was another professor called Peter Cohen in the Netherlands who said, maybe we shouldn t even call it addiction. Maybe we should call it bonding. Human beings have a natural and innate need to bond, and when we re happy and healthy, we ll bond and connect with each other, but if you can t do that,
看看接下来这个案例，荷兰另一位叫彼得·科恩的教授说，也许我们甚至不应该称之为上瘾。也许我们应该称之为依赖。人类有一种天生的和与生俱来的联结需要，当我们幸福健康的时候，我们会彼此联结和联系，但如果你做不到这一点，
because you re traumatized or isolated or beaten down by life, you will bond with something that will give you some sense of relief. Now, that might be gambling, that might be pornography, that might be cocaine, that might be cannabis, but you will bond and connect with something because that s our nature. That s what we want as human beings.
由于生活的创伤和隔离，你会依赖其他给你安慰的东西。现在，这可能是DB，可能是SQ，可能是可卡因，可能是大麻，但是你会和一些东西联系在一起，因为那是我们的本性。作为人类，这就是我们想要的。
And at first, I found this quite a difficult thing to get my head around, but one way that helped me to think about it is, I can see, I ve got over by my seat a bottle of water, right? I m looking at lots of you, and lots of you have bottles of water with you. Forget the drugs. Forget the drug war. Totally legally, all of those bottles of water could be bottles of vodka, right? We could all be getting drunk -- I might after this -- but we re not.
一开始，我很难想通这件事，但有一个让我理解这件事的方法是，我能看到，我在座位边喝了一瓶水，对吧？我看着你们很多人，你们很多人带着水瓶。忘掉毒品吧。忘掉DP战争吧。假设一种合法的情况，所有这些瓶装水都可能是伏特加，对吧？之后我们可能都会喝醉了，但我们没有。
Now, because you ve been able to afford the approximately gazillion pounds that it costs to get into a TED Talk, I m guessing you guys could afford to be drinking vodka for the next six months. You wouldn t end up homeless. You re not going to do that, and the reason you re not going to do that is not because anyone s stopping you. It s because you ve got bonds and connections that you want to be present for. You ve got work you love. You ve got people you love. You ve got healthy relationships. And a core part of addiction, I came to think, and I believe the evidence suggests, is about not being able to bear to be present in your life.
现在，因为你们能负担得起参加TED演讲所需的近百万英镑的费用，我猜你们也能负担得起接下来六个月喝伏特加的费用。你不会无家可归的。你不会那样做的，你不会那样做的原因不是因为有人阻止你。这是因为你有你想要展现的纽带和联系。你有你喜欢的工作。你有你爱的人。你有着健康的人际关系。而上瘾的核心，我认为，我坚信证据也在表明，那是对于现实生活的无奈。
Now, this has really significant implications. The most obvious implications are for the War on Drugs. In Arizona, I went out with a group of women who were made to wear t-shirts saying, 'I was a drug addict,' and go out on chain gangs and dig graves while members of the public jeer at them, and when those women get out of prison, they re going to have criminal records that mean they ll never work in the legal economy again.
这对我们有着深远的启发。最明显的影响是对DP的战争。在亚利桑那州，我和一群妇女一起出去，她们被要求穿着写有“我是瘾君子”的T恤，被链子拴着一起挖坟墓，人们都取笑她们。当这些妇女出狱时，她们会有犯罪记录，这意味着她们再也不能从事合法经济活动。
Now, that s a very extreme example, obviously, in the case of the chain gang, but actually almost everywhere in the world we treat addicts to some degree like that. We punish them. We shame them. We give them criminal records. We put barriers between them reconnecting. There was a doctor in Canada, Dr. Gabor Maté, an amazing man, who said to me, if you wanted to design a system that would make addiction worse, you would design that system.
当然，被铁链拴在一起使得这个例子有点极端，但事实上，几乎在世界的任何一个角落，我们在某种程度上都是这样对待瘾君子的。我们惩罚他们。我们让他们蒙羞。我们给他们记下犯罪记录。我们在他们重新与外界建立联系时施加阻碍。加拿大有个医生，加博·马特博士，一个了不起的人，他对我说，如果你想设计一个能让上瘾变得更严重的系统，你可以把系统设计成那样。
Now, there s a place that decided to do the exact opposite, and I went there to see how it worked. In the year 2000, Portugal had one of the worst drug problems in Europe. One percent of the population was addicted to heroin, which is kind of mind-blowing, and every year, they tried the American way more and more. They punished people and stigmatized them and shamed them more, and every year, the problem got worse.
现在，有一个地方决定做完全相反的事情，我去那里看看它是如何运作的。2000年，葡萄牙是欧洲DP问题最严重的国家之一。百分之一的人沉迷于海洛因，令人震惊，每年他们都尝试使用更加强硬的美式手段。他们不断惩罚瘾君子，诬蔑并羞辱他们，但是每年这个问题都变得更加严重。
And one day, the Prime Minister and the leader of the opposition got together, and basically said, look, we can t go on with a country where we re having ever more people becoming heroin addicts. Let s set up a panel of scientists and doctors to figure out what would genuinely solve the problem. And they set up a panel led by an amazing man called Dr. João Goulão, to look at all this new evidence, and they came back and they said, 'Decriminalize all drugs from cannabis to crack, but' --
有一天，首相和反对党领袖聚在一起，大概是说，我们再也不能这样继续下去了，那样全国会有越来越多的人海洛因上瘾。我们需要成立一个由科学家和医生组成的小组，找出真正能解决这个问题的方法。他们建立了一个由约翰·华谷劳博士领导的小组，重新研究这些新证据，最后他们说 “将DP合法化，不论是大麻还是DP，但是”
and this is the crucial next step -- 'take all the money we used to spend on cutting addicts off, on disconnecting them, and spend it instead on reconnecting them with society.' And that s not really what we think of as drug treatment in the United States and Britain. So they do do residential rehab, they do psychological therapy, that does have some value. But the biggest thing they did was the complete opposite of what we do: a massive program of job creation for addicts, and microloans for addicts to set up small businesses.
--最重要的一点--“撤回我们过去用来对付DY和用来隔离瘾君子的费用，用这些钱来帮助他们回到社会”这并不是我们认为的解决DY的方法，不论是在美国还是英国。”所以他们会住院，做心理治疗，那确实起到一定作用。但最重要的事是，那与我们过去做的完全不同：就是为瘾君子创立大量就业机会，以及为他们建立小企业提供小额贷款。
So say you used to be a mechanic. When you re ready, they ll go to a garage, and they ll say, if you employ this guy for a year, we ll pay half his wages. The goal was to make sure that every addict in Portugal had something to get out of bed for in the morning. And when I went and met the addicts in Portugal, what they said is, as they rediscovered purpose, they rediscovered bonds and relationships with the wider society.
假设你过去曾是一个机械工人。当你准备好了后，他们会去你工作的车库，说：“如果你们雇佣这个人满一年，他一半的薪水由我们来付。”我们的目标是确保葡萄牙的每个瘾君子在早上起床之后都有一些事情可做。当我去葡萄牙见那些瘾君子时，他们说，由于他们重新找到了目标，他们也重新找到了与外界社会的依赖和关系。
It ll be 15 years this year since that experiment began, and the results are in: injecting drug use is down in Portugal, according to the British Journal of Criminology, by 50 percent, five-zero percent. Overdose is massively down, HIV is massively down among addicts. Addiction in every study is significantly down. One of the ways you know it s worked so well is that almost nobody in Portugal wants to go back to the old system.
从实验开始到现在已经15年了，结果是：根据英国犯罪学杂志的报道，葡萄牙的注射DP使用率下降了50%，只有0.5%了。过量XD的状况大量减少，DP导致的艾滋病毒传播也在减少。每项研究的成瘾性都显著下降。你应该也猜得出，它运作良好的影响之一就是，在葡萄牙，几乎没有人愿意回到戒毒的旧体制。
Now, that s the political implications. I actually think there s a layer of implications to all this research below that. We live in a culture where people feel really increasingly vulnerable to all sorts of addictions, whether it s to their smartphones or to shopping or to eating. Before these talks began -- you guys know this -- we were told we weren t allowed to have our smartphones on, and I have to say, a lot of you looked an awful lot like addicts who were told their dealer was going to be unavailable for the next couple of hours.
现在，这是一个ZZ上的影响。不过我又开始思考一个层面的影响，它涉及所有的研究。我们生活在这样一种文化中，人们越来越容易上瘾，无论是对智能手机、购物还是饮食。在这些演讲开始之前——你们都知道——我们被告知关掉智能手机，我不得不说，你们中的许多人看看起来很失落，就好像瘾君子被告知在接下来的几个小时都不能见到DF了一样。
A lot of us feel like that, and it might sound weird to say, I ve been talking about how disconnection is a major driver of addiction and weird to say it s growing, because you think we re the most connected society that s ever been, surely. But I increasingly began to think that the connections we have or think we have, are like a kind of parody of human connection. If you have a crisis in your life, you ll notice something.
许多人都觉得，说起来可能有点奇怪，我一直说与外界的失联是导致上瘾的主要因素，非常奇怪的是这种现象正在增长，因为我们都以为自己正处于联系最紧密的社会，那是肯定的。但我却越发觉得，我们拥有或认为我们拥有的关系，就像是对人际关系的一种拙劣的模仿。如果你在生活中遭遇了危机，你总会注意到一些事情。
It won t be your Twitter followers who come to sit with you. It won t be your Facebook friends who help you turn it round. It ll be your flesh and blood friends who you have deep and nuanced and textured, face-to-face relationships with, and there s a study I learned about from Bill McKibben, the environmental writer, that I think tells us a lot about this.
你推特上的粉丝不会与你并肩作战。你脸书上的伙伴不会帮你走出困境。只有你血肉相连的朋友，那些与你关系很深、体贴入微、并且能面对面的朋友才会来帮你，我还从环境作家比尔·麦克那里了解到的一个研究，它告诉了我们很多相关的道理。
It looked at the number of close friends the average American believes they can call on in a crisis. That number has been declining steadily since the 1950s. The amount of floor space an individual has in their home has been steadily increasing, and I think that s like a metaphor for the choice we ve made as a culture. We ve traded floorspace for friends, we ve traded stuff for connections, and the result is we are one of the loneliest societies there has ever been.
这个研究调查了米国人平均拥有的在危急时可以电话求助的亲密朋友的数量。这一数字自20世纪50年代以来一直在稳步下降，而每个人在家里的空间却一直稳定地增长，我认为这种心照不宣的选择已经成了一种流行文化。我们拿朋友交换房屋面积，拿联系交换物品，结果就是我们成了有史以来最孤独的社会之一。
And Bruce Alexander, the guy who did the Rat Park experiment, says, we talk all the time in addiction about individual recovery, and it s right to talk about that, but we need to talk much more about social recovery. Something s gone wrong with us, not just with individuals but as a group, and we ve created a society where, for a lot of us, life looks a whole lot more like that isolated cage and a whole lot less like Rat Park.
那个做了老鼠公园实验的布鲁斯·亚历山大说，我们一直在讨论个人层面的上瘾恢复，这个是对的，但我们更应该讨论社会层面上的恢复。我们出了点问题，不仅仅是个人的问题，而是作为一个群体的问题，我们创造了一个社会，对我们很多人来说，生活看起来更像是一个孤立的笼子，它还远远不如老鼠公园。
If I m honest, this isn t why I went into it. I didn t go in to the discover the political stuff, the social stuff. I wanted to know how to help the people I love. And when I came back from this long journey and I d learned all this, I looked at the addicts in my life, and if you re really candid, it s hard loving an addict, and there s going to be lots of people who know in this room. You are angry a lot of the time, and I think one of the reasons why this debate is so charged is because it runs through the heart of each of us, right?
如果我说实话，这并不是我深入调查这些的原因。我当时并未想去探索这些ZZ和社会相关的问题，我只是想知道如何帮助我爱的人。而当我结束了这段漫长的旅程，我却学到了这么多，我看着我生命中的那些瘾君子，坦率地说，爱一个上瘾者很困难，正如很多人知道的那样。你会经常生气，我想这场辩论之所以如此激烈的原因之一是因为它贯穿了我们每个人的内心，对吧？
Everyone has a bit of them that looks at an addict and thinks, I wish someone would just stop you. And the kind of scripts we re told for how to deal with the addicts in our lives is typified by, I think, the reality show 'Intervention,' if you guys have ever seen it. I think everything in our lives is defined by reality TV, but that s another TED Talk. If you ve ever seen the show 'Intervention,' it s a pretty simple premise.
每一个多少都有试过看着某个上瘾的人想，我希望有人可以阻止你。我们被告知对待生活中上瘾者的办法，我想，典型的例子是真人秀“干预”，不知你们看过没有。我认为生活中任何事都能在真人秀中反映出来，但那是另一个TED话题了。如果你看过这个节目“干预”，这是一个很简单的假定。
Get an addict, all the people in their life, gather them together, confront them with what they re doing, and they say, if you don t shape up, we re going to cut you off. So what they do is they take the connection to the addict, and they threaten it, they make it contingent on the addict behaving the way they want. And I began to think, I began to see why that approach doesn t work, and I began to think that s almost like the importing of the logic of the Drug War into our private lives.
找到一个瘾君子，以及他们生活中的所有人，把他们聚集在一起，就他上瘾的事情对他说，如果你不振作起来，我们就疏离你。所以他们所做的就是把他们和瘾君子联系起来，威胁他们，结果取决于上瘾者会不会按他们所想的去做。我开始思考，也渐渐意识到为什么这种方法不起作用，我想这就好像是将DP战争中的逻辑引入到我们的私人生活中来。
So I was thinking, how could I be Portuguese? And what I ve tried to do now, and I can t tell you I do it consistently and I can t tell you it s easy, is to say to the addicts in my life that I want to deepen the connection with them, to say to them, I love you whether you re using or you re not. I love you, whatever state you re in, and if you need me, I ll come and sit with you because I love you and I don t want you to be alone or to feel alone.
我当时想，我如何才能像葡萄牙人那么做？如今我已尝试过的，虽然不能说坚持得很好，因为这一点也不简单，那就是我会对生活中的瘾君子说，我想加深与他们的联系，我告诉他们，不管你是否还有DY，我都爱你。我爱你，无论你处于什么样的状态，如果你需要我，我可以随时来到你身边，因为我爱你，所以不希望你独自一人或是感到孤单。
And I think the core of that message -- you re not alone, we love you -- has to be at every level of how we respond to addicts, socially, politically and individually. For 100 years now, we ve been singing war songs about addicts. I think all along we should have been singing love songs to them, because the opposite of addiction is not sobriety. The opposite of addiction is connection. Thank you.
我认为这条启示的核心就是——你不是一个人，我们爱你——必须沉稳我们在社会、政治和个人层面上对瘾君子的态度。100年来，我们一直在唱着关于瘾君子的战歌。我想我们应该一直唱情歌给他们听，因为上瘾的反面是不清醒。上瘾的反面是联系。谢谢大家。
如何从“成瘾”的生活中脱退？
Johann Hari在他的Ted Talk《Everything you think you know about addiction is wrong》中指出，“上瘾”的核心是“对现实生活的无奈”。
我们缺乏可以依赖和联结的对象，所以将自己的业余生活用“上瘾”填满。不断逃避的过程中，我们会失去“觉察自己的痛苦”的能力。
我们将自己寄生在外界刺激中，以驱散孤独和无助，只是过程中也逐渐远离了自我。
Johann Hari提到了这样一个实验：Bruce Alexander教授等人曾将大鼠分别放在两个笼子里。一个笼子里只有海洛因，另一个则被称为“大鼠之家”，除了有海洛因外，还有食物、“朋友”和“性爱”。
结果发现，在“大鼠之家”的大鼠们有朋友、有性生活，几乎从来不对海洛因感兴趣，也未出现对海洛因强迫性的渴求或过量使用；而相比之下，另一个笼子里的大鼠则纷纷因为使用过量而死亡。
通过这个实验，研究者要告诉我们的结论是：摆脱成瘾的根本方式，是社会性的联结。
此外我们还有几个tips给你：
1.允许自己“安心烦恼”
烦恼常常被看作无价值的、应当被摒弃的不良体验，然而从某种程度上说，“烦恼”是一种能力。
我们的生活不可能只有“积极向上”一个面向。通过整合生活中的负性经历，我们才能够辨别什么是好的，什么是令人痛苦的，从而接纳生活的复杂性，将自己拼凑成一个完整的人，获得自足感。
因此，你首先要允许自己“安心烦恼”，承认自己的痛苦，给自己时间沉浸在痛苦中。被迫面对这些很难，但这是发生改变的第一步。
2.逐步降低损失
近年来，对成瘾的治疗逐渐转变了方向，从过去的“强行戒断”转向“降低伤害”，通过替代性的方式，帮助成瘾者逐步摆脱依赖。事实上，研究表明，对于难以戒毒的人，逐渐戒毒的效果比强行戒断要好（Alexander, 2010）。
对于非病理性成瘾的人来说，同样可以选择逐渐脱退的方式。例如，你可以寻求家人朋友的帮助，让ta们拉着你去散步、聊天，帮你每天少花一点时间在“上瘾”活动上，逐渐摆脱依赖，慢慢恢复与自身、与他人真实的联结。
在Ted Talk的最后，Johann Hari说，“上瘾的对立面不是清醒，而是联结”。祝你早日找到自己与他人、与工作、与爱好、与世界间的联结，给你勇气更多地面对现实，找到真实、持久的幸福所在。