有情绪都要压抑下去？ / 四六文摘

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Emotions at work don't just happen with hidden tears in the bathroom or an outburst during a meeting.

工作中的情绪不只是包括发生在厕所里藏着眼泪或开会时的爆发。

Emotions happen when a deadline gets moved or when we don't get invited to a meeting.

当最后期限被更改或我们没有被邀请参加会议时，人们往往就会有情绪。

They happen when your boss sends a cryptic email saying "see me ASAP" or when a co-worker gets credit for a project they barely contributed to (again).

当你的老板发了一封神秘的邮件说“尽快见我”，或者你的同事因为一个他们几乎没有贡献的项目而(再次)获得了荣誉时，同样会让人感觉有情绪。

Anger. Excitement. Frustration. Pride. Hurt. Emotions are everywhere in an office, so why do we pretend they don't exist?

愤怒。兴奋。挫折。骄傲。受伤。办公室里情绪无处不在，我们为什么要假装它们不存在呢?

Liz Fosslien and Mollie West Duffy believe the future of work is emotional.

利兹·福斯林和莫利·韦斯特·达非认为未来的工作其实是情绪化的。

In their book, No Hard Feelings: The Secret Power Of Embracing Emotions At Work, the co-authors argue that effectively embracing emotions is essential for a better workplace.

在他们的书《不要怨恨:工作中面对情绪的秘密力量》中，两位作者认为，有效地面对情绪对于一个更好的工作场所至关重要。

They aren't extending an invitation to be a "feelings firehose" as Fosslien puts it, but they do want to move away from the idea that professionalism means suppressing any emotion by acknowledging we're all emotional creatures — both in and out of the office.

正如福斯林所说，他们并不是在邀请你成为一个“情感喷发器”，但他们确实想摆脱这样一种观念，即专业化意味着承认我们都是情感动物，从而压抑任何情感——无论是在办公室里还是在办公室外。

Meghan Keane interviewed Fosslien and Duffy about how we can be more in touch with our emotions at work.

梅根·基恩采访了福斯利恩和达菲，询问他们如何在工作中更好地了解自己的情绪。

This interview has been edited for length and clarity.

采访过程简要概括如下：

1.When you refer to emotions in the workplace, what are you referring to?

1.当你提到工作中的情绪时，你指的是什么?

Liz Fosslien: What we're really talking about is what to do when you have a strong feeling — sitting down, acknowledging it, not suppressing it, trying to understand the valuable data within it, and then sometimes acting on it.

:利兹·福斯林：我们真正谈论的是当你有一种强烈的感觉时该怎么做——坐下来，承认它，而不是压抑它，试着去理解其中有价值的数据，然后有时根据它采取行动。

It's more about admitting that we are emotional creatures and we're going to feel feelings, whether we're at work [or] at home and figuring out the need behind those emotions, what we should do next.

这更多的是承认我们是情感动物，我们会有感觉，无论我们是在工作还是在家里，并弄清楚这些情感背后的需求，从而知道我们下一步应该做什么。

2.Being "emotional" is often associated with women. Is understanding how to harness emotions at work something women are always going to be tasked with thinking about?

“情绪化”常与女人联系在一起。了解如何在工作中利用情绪是女性一直需要思考的问题吗?

Liz Fosslien: We all have emotions and some of us have just been taught to express them more and some of us haven't. It's really figuring out how can you harness the power of the emotions within you.

利兹·福斯林：我们都有情感，有些人只是被教导要去更多地表达情感，有些人则没有。真正的问题是如何驾驭你内心情感的力量。

It's not that everyone should immediately start talking about their feelings in the workplace.

并不是每个人都应该马上开始谈论他们在工作场所的感受。

It's [for] really men, women, whoever — this is valuable.

而是说那些真实的男人，女人，不管是谁——这是有价值的。

Mollie West Duffy: We have this idea that women are more emotionally in tune and there is some biological evidence.

莫利·韦斯特·达非：我们认为女性在情感上更合拍，这是有一些生物学上的证据的。

This is all changing because gender is more fluid now.

这一切都在改变，因为现在性别更加多变。

But the research does show that women do tend to pick up a little bit more on the emotions of others around them, whereas men are more sort of task focused.

但研究确实表明，女性更倾向于关注周围人的情绪，而男性则更专注于任务。

But I think it's a very small difference.

不过在我看来这个区别并不大。

3.There can be lots of emotions in decision making at work. What's a good way to use an emotion to help make a decision?

在工作中做决定时可能会有很多情绪。用情绪来帮助做决定的好方法是什么?

Mollie West Duffy: The idea that we make rational decisions without any feelings is wrong.

莫利·韦斯特·达非:认为我们做出理性的决定而不带任何感情的想法是错误的，

But not all feelings should be weighed equally.

但并不是所有的感觉都应该被平等地衡量。

We divided it up into two different types of emotions.

我们把它分成两种不同的情绪。

One is relevant emotions and the other one is irrelevant emotion.

一个是相关的情绪，另一个是无关的情绪。

Relevant emotions are directly tied to the choice that you're facing.

相关的情绪与你面临的选择直接相关。

If you're [thinking]: should I or should I not ask for a promotion?

如果你在想:我应不应该要求升职?

If the idea of not asking fills you with dread, that is a relevant emotion.

如果不提出要求的想法让你充满担忧，这就是一种相关的情绪。

Irrelevant emotions are unrelated.

不相干的情绪则是无关紧要的。

For instance, if you're sitting in traffic and you're really irritated — that irritation is irrelevant.

又例如，如果你正坐在交通堵塞的地方，你真的很生气——这种生气则是无关紧要的。

It has nothing to do with the decision that you may need to make it work.

它与你可能需要做出的决定无关。

Our rule of thumb is to keep relevant emotions and toss irrelevant emotions.

我们的经验法则是保留相关的情绪，抛弃不相关的情绪。

4.Let's say I see a male colleague who's the same age as me, same qualifications get a promotion over me. I feel envious. How would I dissect that emotion?

假设我看到一个和我年龄一样，资历一样的男同事升职了。我感到嫉妒。我该如何剖析这种情绪呢?

Mollie West Duffy: Envy is something that we feel like is a negative emotion. But it actually can be really helpful for us.

莫利·韦斯特·达非：嫉妒是一种消极的情绪。但它实际上对我们很有帮助。

We interviewed Gretchen Rubin, author of The Happiness Project, and she told us about how she used to be a lawyer before she was a writer.

我们采访过《幸福计划》的作者格雷琴·鲁宾，她告诉我们她在成为作家之前是如何当律师的。

She was reading through her alumni magazine and all of the people who were lawyers who were really successful lawyers, she [thought], "I'm mildly interested, but I don't really care."

她翻阅着自己的校友杂志，看到所有那些曾经是律师的人都是非常成功的律师，她(想):“我只是稍微有点兴趣，但我真的不在乎。”

Then when she read about people who had really great writing career, she became really envious.

后来，当她读到一些人有非常棒的写作生涯时，她却非常嫉妒。

Envy can reveal to us something that we wish we had.

嫉妒可以向我们揭示一些我们希望拥有的东西。

Oftentimes we perform all these mental gymnastics not to think about it.

通常我们思考问题的时候很少去想它。