Questioner: Much of the anxiety I experience comes through my relationships. Isn’t it reasonable to expect some understanding from other people?提问者：我经历的很多焦虑是来自于我的人际关系。期待别人的一些理解难道不合理吗？Sadhguru: When you live in this world, there are various types of complex interactions happening. As your field of play increases, the complexity of interaction also goes on increasing. If you are just sitting in a cubicle working on your computer with only one other person, you need only a little understanding. If you are managing a thousand people, you need a vast understanding of everyone. Suppose you are managing a thousand people and you want all these people to understand you, you are not going to manage anything. You need to understand the limitations and capabilities of these thousand people and do what you can. Only then will you have the power to move the situation the way you want it to go. If you are waiting for these thousand people to understand you and act, it is a pipe dream. It is never going to happen.Sadhguru（萨古鲁）：在这个世界上生活，会有各种各样复杂的交际互动。随着你涉足领域的扩大，互动的复杂性也随之持续增加。如果你只是坐在一间小屋子里和另一个人一起，对着电脑工作，你只需要一点儿理解。如果你正管理着一千个人，你需要对每一个人都有大量的理解。假设你管理着一千人，然后你想要所有这些人都理解你，那么你将什么也做不成。你需要去理解这一千人的局限和才能，然后做你能做的。只有这样你才会有力量去推动事情朝你想要的方向发展。如果你等着这一千个人来理解你，然后才行动，那是白日做梦。那永远不会发生。Questioner: Suppose somebody is in a close relationship with me and is very important to me. Shouldn’t I expect better understanding from them?提问者：如果某人和我关系很亲密，且对我非常重要，难道我不应该期待他们更多的理解吗？Sadhguru: That’s the point. The closer the relationship is, the more effort you should make to understand them. It so happened, once there was a man who had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, with his wife staying at his bedside night and day. When he came to, in those few moments of consciousness, he motioned for her to come closer. As she sat beside him, he said, “I’ve been thinking…you have been with me through all the bad times in my life. When I got fired, you were there to support me. When my business went down the tube, you were there working overtime and doing night shifts. When I got shot, you were by my side. When we lost the house in that legal clash, you were right there beside me. Now my health is failing, and you are still by my side. When I consider all this, I think you only bring me bad luck!”Sadhguru（萨古鲁）：说到点子上了。关系越亲近，你应该做越多的努力去理解他们。有这么个故事：一个男人几个月以来都游离于昏迷和清醒状态之间，他的妻子日夜在他床边守着。偶尔清醒一点时，他示意她靠近。她坐到他身边，他说：“我一直在想，在我生命中所有糟糕的时候，你都在我身边。当我被解雇了，你在那儿支持我。当我的生意一落千丈，你在那儿超时工作加夜班。当我中枪时，你在我身边。当我们在那场法律纠纷中失掉了房子，你也在我身边。现在，我的健康垮了，你仍在我身边。想到这一切，我觉得你只会带给我厄运！”This is exactly what you are doing to yourself and to your relationships. Someone becomes closer and dearer to you only as you understand them better. If they understand you, they enjoy the closeness of the relationship. If you understand them better, you enjoy the closeness.这正是你对自己、对你的关系所做的。只有你能更多地理解别人时，别人才会变得更亲近。如果他们能理解你，他们会享受这份关系的亲密感。如果你能更多地理解他们，你会享受这份亲密感。Questioner: This is easier said than done. It is difficult to always be there…提问者：说比做容易。很难做到一直这样……Sadhguru: It is not that the other person is totally bereft of understanding. With your understanding you can create situations where the other person would be able to understand you better. If you are expecting the other to understand and comply with you all the time while you don’t understand the limitations, possibilities, needs and capabilities of that person, conflict is all that will happen. It is bound to happen.Sadhguru（萨古鲁）：并不是说对方完全丧失了理解力。如果你理解对方，你就能创造出使得对方能更理解你的情境。如果你一直期待对方总是理解和顺从你，而不去理解那个人的局限、可能性、需求及才能，那么发生的只会是冲突。不可避免。Unfortunately, the closest relationships in the world have more conflict going on than between India and Pakistan. In your relationships, you have fought many more battles than they have. This is because your line of understanding and theirs is different. If you cross this L.O.C., this Line of Control, they will get mad. If they cross it, you get mad. If you move your understanding beyond theirs, their understanding also becomes a part of your understanding. You will be able to embrace their limitations and capabilities. In everyone, there are some positive things and some negative things. If you embrace all this in your understanding, you can make the relationship the way you want it. If you leave it to their understanding, it will become accidental. If they are very magnanimous, things will happen well for you. If not, the relationship will break up.不幸的是，那些最亲密的关系中的冲突，比印度和巴基斯坦之间的冲突还要多。你们之间的战争比印巴还多得多。这是因为你理解中的“界线”与他们的不同。如果你跨越了这条三八线，他们就会火冒三丈。如果他们跨过了，你也会恼火。如果你能将你的理解置于他们的理解之上，他们的理解也成为你的理解中的一部分，你将能够接纳他们的局限和才能。每个人都有一些正面和负面的东西。如果你在你的理解中接纳所有这些，你就能让这段关系成为你想要的样子。如果你把它交由他们理解不理解来定，那结果就成为偶然的了：如果他们宽宏大量，结果就会是好的；如果不是，这段关系会破裂。All I am asking is: do you want to be the one who decides what happens to your life? Whether they are close relationships, professional, political, global or whatever, don’t you want to be the person who decides what happens in your life? If you do, you better include everything and everyone into your understanding. You should enhance your understanding to such a point that you can look beyond people’s madness also. There are very wonderful people around you, but once in a while they like to go crazy for a few minutes. If you don’t understand that, you will lose them. If you do, you know how to handle them. Life is not always a straight line. You have to do many things to keep it going. If you forsake your understanding, your capability will be lost. Whether it is a question of personal relationships or professional management, in both places you need understanding. Otherwise, you won’t have fruitful relationships.我要问的就是：你想成为决定自己人生的那个人吗？不论是亲密关系、职业的、政治的、全球的或其它关系，难道你不想是决定自己人生的那个人吗？如果你想，你最好将所有的人和事都纳入你的理解之中。并且，你还要提升自己的理解，能够超越人们的疯狂去看。在你周边有非常棒的人，但有时他们想要发疯那么几分钟。如果你不能理解，你会失去他们。如果你理解，你会知道怎么应对他们。生活并不总是一条直线，你必须做很多事来让它继续下去。如果你放弃理解，你就会失去你的能力。不论这是个人关系还是职业管理的问题，在这两个领域中你都需要理解力。否则，你不会拥有富有成效的关系。
