5则英语幽默笑话，开心过假期！
The Choice of Word
One day, John was back home after work. He found that his wife was shaking their daughter who was only half a year old. She said Da-Dy to the baby many times. John felt very happy because he thought his wife chose the word Dady to teach their baby.
During one night several weeks later, John and his wife were waken up by the cry Dady. His wife said to him, Darling, she is calling you. Then she turned to sleep.
选词
一天下班回家，约翰发现妻子在摇半岁的女儿，嘴里反复念道：“爸-爸。”约翰心里感到美滋滋的，他的妻子选择了“爸爸”这个词首先教孩子。
几周后的一天夜里，约翰和妻子被一阵哭声惊醒了，“爸-爸！”“她在叫你，亲爱的。”妻子说，然后翻身竟自睡了。
During a visit to the mental asylum,a visitor asked the director, 'What is the criterion that defines a patient to be institutionalized?''Well...' said the director, 'we fill up a bathtub,and we offer a teaspoon, a teacup,and a bucket to the patient and ask him to empty the bathtub.'Oh,I understand,n said the visitor. 'A normal person would choose the bucket as it is larger than the spoon or the teacup.'Noooooooo! n answered the director. 'A normal person would pull the plug.'
一个参观者在参观一所精神病院的时候问院长，”你们是用什么标准来决定一个人是否应该进精神病院呢？””哦……¨院长说，“是这样，我们先给一个浴缸放满水，然后我们给病人一个茶匙，一个茶杯和一个水桶去把浴缸里面的水放清。“哦，我明白了¨，参观者说，”正常人会选择水桶，因为水桶比茶匙和茶杯的容积大。””错了”，院长回答道，正常人会把浴缸塞子拔掉。
A New Employee
新员工
Several weeks after a young man had been hired, he was called into the personnel director's office.
一个年轻人在被雇用几个星期后，被叫到人事经理的办公室。
What is the meaning of this? the director asked. When you applied for the job, you told us you had five years' experience. Now we discover this is the first job you ever held.
这是什么意思？经理问，当你申请这份工作时，你告诉我们有五年工作经验，现在我们发现这其实是你的第一份工作。
Well, the young man said, in your advertisement you said you wanted somebody with imagination.
嗯，年轻人回答，你们的广告上说需要找一个有想象力的人嘛。
A young man came home from work and found his bride upset. 'I feel terrible, ' she said. 'I was pressing your suit and I burned a big hole in the seat of your trousers.”
一位年轻的丈夫下班回到家里，发现新娘心烦意乱。“我心里太难受了，她说，我在给你熨西装时把裤子的臀部烧了个大洞。”
'Forget It,n'said her husband. 'Remember that l've got an extra pair of pants for that suit．
“没事儿，”丈夫安慰她说，你忘了我这套衣服有两条裤子。
'Yes,”said the woman.cheering up. 'And it's luckY you have.I used another pants to patch the hole.'
”是的，“妻子高兴地说，幸亏你还有一条，我后来就用它来补了这个洞了。
A guy burned two ears... so they were asking him at the hospital how it happened.
一个男人的两只耳朵都被烫伤了...在医院的时候别人就问他是如何烫到的。
He said, 'I was ironing my clothing and the phone rang...so instead of the phone I picked up the iron and burned my ear...'
他说：“我正在熨衣服的时候，电话响了...当时我把熨斗当成电话抓起来接听了。”
'But how the heck did you burn the other ear?' The doctor asked.
医生说：“但是你是如何烫到另一只耳朵的呢？”
'How do you think I called you people?'
“因为我想给你打电话呀！”
每天5分钟，让学习成为一种习惯！