3位纽约离婚律师告诉你，如何更好的选择和维持婚姻，以及处理离婚问题（附视频&对话稿）
今日周迅高圣远离婚的新闻上了热搜，二人发微博“祝各自安好”，有网友表示“赶紧离婚，周迅值得更好的。”“两个人早就没有爱情了。”“周迅结婚了吗？”，2G冲浪网，小编也才知道周迅结婚了！
据了解，2014年7月16日，高圣远向周迅求婚，女方回应：“我愿意！”致辞中，高圣远表示自己中文不好，“但我要说的是爱让我和我的妻子在一起！”周迅则表示：“我在电影里演过几次新娘说过几次誓言，今天晚上终于有个属于周迅版本的誓言了！”婚礼现场真的是感动哭了很多人。
其实，周迅离婚是意料之中的事情，毕竟周迅是个敢爱敢恨的人，会为爱奋不顾身，但也会在轰轰烈烈之后潇洒离开。
相信许多人都习惯了名人们在社交网络上的离婚申明，今天我们来关注一下普通人，看看三位纽约的离婚律师揭露婚姻真相，从法律层面解释婚姻的本质，从业这么多年，他们见证过无数曾今相爱的客户翻脸扯皮，列出来的忠告也都是干货...
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- Marriage is like the lottery.
You're probably not gonna win.
But if you win, what you win is so great that it's worth trying, it's worth buying the ticket and taking the ride.
You know, 53% of marriages end in divorce in New York state.
So if I said to you there's a 53% chance that when you walk out the front door today, you're gonna get hit in the head with a bowling ball, you would either stay inside or at a minimum you would wear a helmet.
You buy a house, they make you fill out 50 forms explaining that you understand the lead paint disclosures, you understand the loan, you understand everything.
You get married, you don't even get a pamphlet.
You don't even get a piece of paper that says, 'Oh, by the way, you just did 'the most legally significant thing, 'other than dying, you'll ever do.' The fact that you're entering into this significant legal contract but most people have zero idea what's actually involved in that contract, and spend a lot more time figuring out what kind of cake we should have at the event is a really strange thing to me.
Take marriage seriously.
- If you want to be with a person who is social, and very outgoing, then don't marry someone who is a homebody.
- 'This is who I want, this is what I expect.
'If this doesn't work for you, then you may not be 'the right guy for me.' It's critical that those expectations are communicated early.
- You're not going to change all that much just because you're getting married, and the person that you're marrying is most probably not going to change all that much either.
- I always tell clients, 'You divorce the person you were married to.' Because clients come in and they'll say, you know, in this shocked way, say like, 'I can't believe he's being so vindictive!' And I'll say, 'Well, what was he like during the marriage?' And they say, 'Well, he was vindictive.' You know, 'I can't believe he's nickel-and-diming me 'on all the finances.' And you say, 'Well, what was he like with money 'during the marriage?' And they say, 'Well, he was the kind of person 'that would nickel-and-dime everybody.' 'Okay, well why would you think he'd be different 'during the divorce?' - I think one of the most important conversations you need to have with your partner before getting married is about your finances.
Doing a prenup forces the couple to have a conversation.
With a prenuptial agreement, there is a mandatory financial disclosure.
Most people are out there making their own money, and by the time they get married they have their own bank accounts, and you know, student loans or credit card debts, and those are all sort of important things to know about the person that you are going to marry.
- I think what a lot of us are looking for in someone to date is very different than what we're looking for in someone to marry.
You know, I've had so many clients who, for example their boyfriend or girlfriend has a job that is so cool to have a boyfriend or girlfriend doing.
A musician, a chef, there's something very exciting about dating someone in that position.
But think about what it's going to be like to be married to someone in that position.
A chef who works really long hours, late into the night.
A person who travels for business that is on the road 45 weeks of the year.
What makes for a good boyfriend or girlfriend and what makes for a good spouse or partner, especially if you want to have kids, is a tremendously different thing much of the time.
When you represent people in divorce, you see good people at their worst.
So I've seen, you know, stay at home moms, who, in the middle of a courtroom, throw something at their spouse.
- The biggest mistake that people make when they're getting divorced is to make this into the winner and loser situation.
They get so caught up into standing their ground that they lose focus of what really matters and the collateral damage that's happening around them.
The key here is to keep your eye on the prize.
It's my job to take your hand and walk you through this path, which is very scary, but the goal is to get to the other side, not to get stuck in the middle.
I don't think that you have as much drama, unpredictable day-to-day experiences that you have in divorce and family law.
- Being a divorce lawyer has helped me figure out in my own marriage what I'm fighting for and what I really don't want to lose.
- I've been a divorce lawyer for 17 years, I still get teary-eyed at weddings.
If I was to say to people what they should try to hold on to, is that sense of being this other person's cheerleader and being connected to them.